Twich
10-10-2003, 09:43 AM
Shameless self promotion warning! :lol Did this for the Farscape episode title challenge. :)
“Thank God it’s Friday.”
I say that every Friday, but today I really meant it. Picture if you will, a Bug’s Life. The ants that were running around like they were about to have a meltdown? That was me during the past week.
It started on Monday with a phone call from my mother. She was acting mental as anything and it took me several minutes to get her calmed down enough to tell me the ugly truth. My brother had stolen the locket that my father gave to her for their first anniversary. He gave her a bunch of promises that he would get it back, but mom thought that given the choice, he probably didn’t have a prayer of finding it. Mom said he sold it on Ebay to someone from Kansas.
Just as I was telling her that our family ties were in fractures, my boss showed up to give me my new assignment. I needed to write slogans for a lava lamp company. I ended the conversation with my mother and tried to work on it, but all I could come up with was Lava’s a Many Splendored Thing. He gave me an odd look with a funny little scratch and sniff and told me to try again. I noticed a definite scent wafting from his direction and wrinkled my nose as I told him thanks for sharing. He mumbled something that sounded like eat me as he walked away and I put my ideas back in the incubator. I knew there were infinite possibilities with this lava campaign but I was stuck. I needed to make some sort of exodus from Genesis cause all I could see in my head was mountainous spurts of lava as the earth began. I decided it was time to call it a day and head home.
I spent the rest of the evening dodging phone calls and listening to my family spill their woes on my answering machine. I didn’t want to think about my relativity to my family or all of their self inflicted wounds. All my brother could say was could’a should’a would’a. You would think he would have learned something after losing time in jail, but he didn’t even think about what was lost anymore. Just about the liars, guns and money he got involved with in prison. His sacrifice was pointless. I guess we were just headed for different destinations.
The next morning while working on my lava presentation I decided to kick in a little of that old black magic and put on my Rhapsody in Blue cd. That would get my brain working. Just as I was beginning to get warmed up, my computer and its bad timing decided to crash on me.
“Well, that’s it,” I thought. “We’re so screwed. There’s no way I can get this project done now.”
My boss, who every now and tried to dream a little dream and imagine he was some sort of superhero, decided to come and rid my computer of its season of death. Instead of being my revenging angel, he turned out a little bit more like John Quixote. As there was no miraculous resurrection of my computer, I told him that Daedalus (my computer) demands a bit more than he can give and I called the PK Tech Girl.
When Durka, our local tech, showed up, she was a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Her teeny tiny blouse was covered with teeny tiny clams snapping everywhere. It was a regular coup by clam. The men in the office went out of their minds with little miss hot to katratzi and I knew we were in for la bomba for the rest of the afternoon. The men were willingly walking into the lion’s den.
The other ladies in the office knew that she was built the way we weren’t and we all got bitten by the green eyed monster, though we didn’t want to admit it. We decided to go to the premiere of a new movie, I ET. It was a documentary of the making of ET. It was followed up by the sequel to a Clockwork Orange, A Clockwork Nebari. Not exactly stellar movie making, but with friends like these it didn’t need to be. We always had fun anyway.
After cutting out for the afternoon, we all decided to forget what was lost and the next day we would go back and back and back to the future…and get all of our work done. I called into the office and found out that Durka hadn’t been able to fix my computer. I would work from home tomorrow. I was glad. I told my friends I really didn’t want to be in the office when Durka returns. Watching through the looking glass to see all of the men in the office whisper like they’ve got a secret when we all knew what they were thinking was enough to make me ill. They were like lambs to the slaughter in her presence. I didn’t need to do that again.
When I got home that night, I discovered chaos in my backyard. That dog with two bones that I had seen the other day must have gotten into my garbage. I swear my neighbors need to put beware of dog signs up all over the neighborhood instead of just in their yard. That stupid dog didn’t need to be given a bone to be wild. He just was. I figured that after I cleaned up, taking the stone from near the fence and putting it on top of my garbage can wasn’t such a bad idea. Maybe that would minimize what was lost next time.
I was just getting up the nerve to start cleaning up the garbage when I realized that a mouse family had built its home on the remains of my Chinese dinner. Mommy mouse had obviously stayed home to mind the baby because it appeared that daddy mouse was trying to add on to their new home by bringing the cracker box from across the yard. Poor guy. Try as he might, he couldn’t move that cracker box. I started to think that cracker’s don’t matter to the guy, but then I realized he was moving his family. Looked like they were going to give up their Chinese throne for a loss of just a little space so they could move into the big cracker box mansion across the yard.
“Well, good for them” I shrugged, as I went to the mailbox to pick up my mail. I figured that the mouse family moving from one place to the other gave me an excuse to leave the mess and come back later. Let them get their belongings settled before I cleaned up the rest of their theme park.
When I retrieved my mail, I was appalled to see that there was a package from my ex-boyfriend. Jeremiah Crichton couldn’t seem to leave me alone no matter what I did. When we first started dating, I had thought the sun rose and set on him. (I have a problem lumping together suns and lovers. Don’t know why. Just do.) I had told everyone that Crichton kicks…cause he was so wonderful and loving. I couldn’t believe how lucky I was to have such a man. And then things started changing just a little. He started showing an interest in DNA. Mad scientist images kept popping into my head, but he wasn’t that bad. I thought he was just interested in what our future children would look like. You know, some sort of strange fetal attraction. It wasn’t until he was talking about cloning people that I started to get really scared. He told me that Icarus abides within his soul and he wanted to turn himself into the Maltese Crichton. Then he hit me with the revelation that made me realize that he was no longer planted on Terra Firma (as if the others hadn’t given me a clue yet). He had awoken the hidden memory within himself and realized that he and I were royalty. He said that people would worship us. They would shout “Look at the Princess!” when they saw me. He had a not so simple plan to create an entire society that we would rule by natural election. I told him I wasn’t sure about that idea and I pulled away from him, but then he shouted that I shrink, therefore I am perfect for the task of ruling! I admit, I was starting into a bit of a constellation of doubt about the whole relationship.
Despite all of this, I still loved him. It was strange, this pleasure at being worshipped. When he asked if I loved him and would love him for all eternity, I said “I do, I think.” But It wasn’t until he showed me his invention for creating our society that I got really scared. It was a huge series of wheels with odd strings and bindings. He pointed to the top and said we had to wait for the wheel to come down and then we would be wrapped in the flax until the blood runs clear. I knew at that moment that I was going to die. Me! Dichotomy though it was, I still loved him. I know it made no sense to feel that way, but I-yensch, you-yensch. It’s what makes the world go round I guess. I told him that I was afraid I would die and he lamented the loss of his princess. It would be a prefect murder. I decided then that instead of living some vitas mortis dream with him, I needed to end the relationship. After all, a kiss is but a kiss. My life is more important.
I opened the package, thinking again about the three stages that Jeremiah had gone through during our relationship. He had been like three different men. As I pulled out the pictures he had sent and stared at my three crichtons, I had to tell myself that I won’t get fooled again. He was a handsome man after all. It would be easy to fall back into a relationship with him. But I had already been bitten. Now I was twice shy. I couldn’t go back. He had thought he was bringing home the beacon of our love when he invented that machine. Poor man didn’t see that it was destined to be an unrealized reality.
I grabbed my bowl of popcorn and headed for the living room. With a sigh I propped my feet up and clicked the remote to the Sci Fi channel. It was Farscape time. All I could think was “Thank God it’s Friday…again.”
“Thank God it’s Friday.”
I say that every Friday, but today I really meant it. Picture if you will, a Bug’s Life. The ants that were running around like they were about to have a meltdown? That was me during the past week.
It started on Monday with a phone call from my mother. She was acting mental as anything and it took me several minutes to get her calmed down enough to tell me the ugly truth. My brother had stolen the locket that my father gave to her for their first anniversary. He gave her a bunch of promises that he would get it back, but mom thought that given the choice, he probably didn’t have a prayer of finding it. Mom said he sold it on Ebay to someone from Kansas.
Just as I was telling her that our family ties were in fractures, my boss showed up to give me my new assignment. I needed to write slogans for a lava lamp company. I ended the conversation with my mother and tried to work on it, but all I could come up with was Lava’s a Many Splendored Thing. He gave me an odd look with a funny little scratch and sniff and told me to try again. I noticed a definite scent wafting from his direction and wrinkled my nose as I told him thanks for sharing. He mumbled something that sounded like eat me as he walked away and I put my ideas back in the incubator. I knew there were infinite possibilities with this lava campaign but I was stuck. I needed to make some sort of exodus from Genesis cause all I could see in my head was mountainous spurts of lava as the earth began. I decided it was time to call it a day and head home.
I spent the rest of the evening dodging phone calls and listening to my family spill their woes on my answering machine. I didn’t want to think about my relativity to my family or all of their self inflicted wounds. All my brother could say was could’a should’a would’a. You would think he would have learned something after losing time in jail, but he didn’t even think about what was lost anymore. Just about the liars, guns and money he got involved with in prison. His sacrifice was pointless. I guess we were just headed for different destinations.
The next morning while working on my lava presentation I decided to kick in a little of that old black magic and put on my Rhapsody in Blue cd. That would get my brain working. Just as I was beginning to get warmed up, my computer and its bad timing decided to crash on me.
“Well, that’s it,” I thought. “We’re so screwed. There’s no way I can get this project done now.”
My boss, who every now and tried to dream a little dream and imagine he was some sort of superhero, decided to come and rid my computer of its season of death. Instead of being my revenging angel, he turned out a little bit more like John Quixote. As there was no miraculous resurrection of my computer, I told him that Daedalus (my computer) demands a bit more than he can give and I called the PK Tech Girl.
When Durka, our local tech, showed up, she was a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Her teeny tiny blouse was covered with teeny tiny clams snapping everywhere. It was a regular coup by clam. The men in the office went out of their minds with little miss hot to katratzi and I knew we were in for la bomba for the rest of the afternoon. The men were willingly walking into the lion’s den.
The other ladies in the office knew that she was built the way we weren’t and we all got bitten by the green eyed monster, though we didn’t want to admit it. We decided to go to the premiere of a new movie, I ET. It was a documentary of the making of ET. It was followed up by the sequel to a Clockwork Orange, A Clockwork Nebari. Not exactly stellar movie making, but with friends like these it didn’t need to be. We always had fun anyway.
After cutting out for the afternoon, we all decided to forget what was lost and the next day we would go back and back and back to the future…and get all of our work done. I called into the office and found out that Durka hadn’t been able to fix my computer. I would work from home tomorrow. I was glad. I told my friends I really didn’t want to be in the office when Durka returns. Watching through the looking glass to see all of the men in the office whisper like they’ve got a secret when we all knew what they were thinking was enough to make me ill. They were like lambs to the slaughter in her presence. I didn’t need to do that again.
When I got home that night, I discovered chaos in my backyard. That dog with two bones that I had seen the other day must have gotten into my garbage. I swear my neighbors need to put beware of dog signs up all over the neighborhood instead of just in their yard. That stupid dog didn’t need to be given a bone to be wild. He just was. I figured that after I cleaned up, taking the stone from near the fence and putting it on top of my garbage can wasn’t such a bad idea. Maybe that would minimize what was lost next time.
I was just getting up the nerve to start cleaning up the garbage when I realized that a mouse family had built its home on the remains of my Chinese dinner. Mommy mouse had obviously stayed home to mind the baby because it appeared that daddy mouse was trying to add on to their new home by bringing the cracker box from across the yard. Poor guy. Try as he might, he couldn’t move that cracker box. I started to think that cracker’s don’t matter to the guy, but then I realized he was moving his family. Looked like they were going to give up their Chinese throne for a loss of just a little space so they could move into the big cracker box mansion across the yard.
“Well, good for them” I shrugged, as I went to the mailbox to pick up my mail. I figured that the mouse family moving from one place to the other gave me an excuse to leave the mess and come back later. Let them get their belongings settled before I cleaned up the rest of their theme park.
When I retrieved my mail, I was appalled to see that there was a package from my ex-boyfriend. Jeremiah Crichton couldn’t seem to leave me alone no matter what I did. When we first started dating, I had thought the sun rose and set on him. (I have a problem lumping together suns and lovers. Don’t know why. Just do.) I had told everyone that Crichton kicks…cause he was so wonderful and loving. I couldn’t believe how lucky I was to have such a man. And then things started changing just a little. He started showing an interest in DNA. Mad scientist images kept popping into my head, but he wasn’t that bad. I thought he was just interested in what our future children would look like. You know, some sort of strange fetal attraction. It wasn’t until he was talking about cloning people that I started to get really scared. He told me that Icarus abides within his soul and he wanted to turn himself into the Maltese Crichton. Then he hit me with the revelation that made me realize that he was no longer planted on Terra Firma (as if the others hadn’t given me a clue yet). He had awoken the hidden memory within himself and realized that he and I were royalty. He said that people would worship us. They would shout “Look at the Princess!” when they saw me. He had a not so simple plan to create an entire society that we would rule by natural election. I told him I wasn’t sure about that idea and I pulled away from him, but then he shouted that I shrink, therefore I am perfect for the task of ruling! I admit, I was starting into a bit of a constellation of doubt about the whole relationship.
Despite all of this, I still loved him. It was strange, this pleasure at being worshipped. When he asked if I loved him and would love him for all eternity, I said “I do, I think.” But It wasn’t until he showed me his invention for creating our society that I got really scared. It was a huge series of wheels with odd strings and bindings. He pointed to the top and said we had to wait for the wheel to come down and then we would be wrapped in the flax until the blood runs clear. I knew at that moment that I was going to die. Me! Dichotomy though it was, I still loved him. I know it made no sense to feel that way, but I-yensch, you-yensch. It’s what makes the world go round I guess. I told him that I was afraid I would die and he lamented the loss of his princess. It would be a prefect murder. I decided then that instead of living some vitas mortis dream with him, I needed to end the relationship. After all, a kiss is but a kiss. My life is more important.
I opened the package, thinking again about the three stages that Jeremiah had gone through during our relationship. He had been like three different men. As I pulled out the pictures he had sent and stared at my three crichtons, I had to tell myself that I won’t get fooled again. He was a handsome man after all. It would be easy to fall back into a relationship with him. But I had already been bitten. Now I was twice shy. I couldn’t go back. He had thought he was bringing home the beacon of our love when he invented that machine. Poor man didn’t see that it was destined to be an unrealized reality.
I grabbed my bowl of popcorn and headed for the living room. With a sigh I propped my feet up and clicked the remote to the Sci Fi channel. It was Farscape time. All I could think was “Thank God it’s Friday…again.”