What line makes you laugh the most?

[Judith]

Okay, we've got a thread on lines/episodes that make us cry...lets cheer ourselves up a bit.

"She gives me a woody."

ALL of Crackers Don't Matter.

"What does an American want? Democracy? Capitalism!"...actually I liked the whole speech...but I can't remember it all.

[I-am-so-Johns-girl]

"We can't override their override of our override" - kills me everytime.:D

[JadedLegend3]

From "CDM"

Aeryn: (dead-pan) We are going to die.

And anytime in "OOTM" when Rygel is in Aeryn and he says, "Yotz!" LOL
And that same ep when Rygel in Aeryn says, "Disgusting, 'If you say so John…Trust me it will be alright' and she believes it. Well yotz if I said that you'd all vomit."

Also "OOTM"
Crichton: Did we send the 'don't shoot us, we're pathetic' transmission yet?
D'Argo: It's the first thing we tried! (Just the fact that they tried it is hysterical to me!!!)


Jacqui :love:

[Scaper_S]

These are some of my favourites -

TFAL - "Don't you tempt me fluffy" John

TTLG - "one....mippippippi" D'Argo & "ignore the green slob" Chiana

CDM - "oh, look, sunshine's awake" John

OOTM - any of Rygel-in-Aeryn's lines

WGFA - "Toto." Cop Crais

Meltdown - "Damn, Smokey, you can't argue with a woman" John

S&S - D'Argo's freslin induced dancing (not a line but still hilarious!)

JQ - any of the Pwinceth's lines

CBC - "it was Rygels idea" John (in drag)

Kansas - Rygel on a sugar high "How illegal is this dren!?"

[fiona-maria]

One Mippippi...

Don't shoot us, we're pathetic...

Fiona

[padmeskywalker]

"We can't override their override of our override" - kills me everytime.

Whic episode is that from again??? Know I've heard it...

[Silk]

Oh, those are all great. Can't think of any now.

[Darth Buddha]

Rygel:

You bitches clear out... Crichton is MINE!

(does the Hannibal Lector thing with the tongue while inhaling)

This is for calling my Sparky....:whip:

And this is for calling Fluffy....:whip:

And this if for calling me BUCKWHEAT....:whip:

WHATEVER THAT MEANS!:whip:

[Pengu]

In the trilogy We're so screwed- La Bomba.
The Kalish get control of the elevator by overriding Sikozu's override :)

[NYPinTA]

"What's a 'hoob' cap?" D'Argo.

[trubador]

Silk's sig line from WGFA gets me every time! :rollin:

[CrystalMoon]

For some reason, this one always cracks me up:

"You should put numbers on their uniforms."

Maybe it's picturing them in uniforms. I also love:

"It's the freaking three Stooges, I'm hitting myself!"

[Roland]

JC's "act" with Braca in LATP! threatening to kill him self with his fingers and all that... :D

[Judith]

Originally posted by Darth Buddha
Rygel:

You bitches clear out... Crichton is MINE!

(does the Hannibal Lector thing with the tongue while inhaling)

This is for calling my Sparky....:whip:

And this is for calling Fluffy....:whip:

And this if for calling me BUCKWHEAT....:whip:

WHATEVER THAT MEANS!:whip:

Oh, I don't think I've ever seen a scene (hmmm...seen a scene) that made me laugh SO hard and creeped me out SO much.

I prefer not to think of Rygel as a sexual being.

[darius]

When after Crichton hits Rygel in one of the Self Inflicted Wounds eps. Rygel says "you broke my nose", then Crichton says "You ain't gotta nose, Guido, you got slits!". I laugh everytime I hear that.

[Judith]

Does anyone know why Chrichton calls Rygel Guido? I think it might be a reference I'm not familiar with...I understand most of the other ones.

[Darth Buddha]

Originally posted by Judith_Shakespeare
Oh, I don't think I've ever seen a scene (hmmm...seen a scene) that made me laugh SO hard and creeped me out SO much.

I prefer not to think of Rygel as a sexual being.
Well, he isn't... ummm... a "body breeder"... if that helps (DNA Mad Scientist).

[Judith]

Originally posted by Darth Buddha
Well, he isn't... ummm... a "body breeder"... if that helps (DNA Mad Scientist).

Yeah, but we had to see him doin' it with that Orhn chick...that wasn't pleasant.

[twylaloo]

Thanks For Sharing

John "Who's your daddy?! Come on, you know who your daddy is. Who's your daddy? -- D'Argo tell'm who his daddy is!

D'argo "I'm your daddy"


Just the way he says it completely deadpan & serious cracks me up!

[chri-baby]

"Stark: you're loose!"
"Rygel: not half as loose as Chiana....."

From "Green Eyed Monster"

:snicker: :roll:

[Dante'-wants-blood!!]

Chianna - Chrichton just proposed

Rygel - Proposed what?

Chianna - Marriage

Rygel - Idiot. *floats away*

LMAO!!!!

[stellar]

Two from Through The Looking Glass. Yellow Moya rocks!

(1) RYGEL: Oh, there is no expanse of the mind, the will cannot traverse -- or physcially, the distance laid across the universe. As blessings many in the stars save one lamented curse -- that Sixteenth Rygel, glory me! Must travel in reverse!

(2) RYGEL: Should I disrobe so it's memorable?

[CrystalMoon]

Two from DD always crack me up, both from John.

"I'm gonna have a heart attack."

&

"I'm makin' like an army."

[Frunium Slip]

From the Premier

D'Argo: This one is some sort of higher brain deficient, how he escaped the genetic breeding process I do not know.
Rygel vents
Zhaan: Rygel?
Crichton: You fart helium?
Rygel: Sometimes, when I'm nervous, or angry. Its a natural bodily function, and its odorless.
D'Argo: Or so your loyal subjects tell you.

From Look at the Princess: A Kiss is but a Kiss, part 1

Crichton: You want a donation for the sperm bank?

Crichton: You'd just have to be on this side of my life to know how frelling insane that is!

Crackers Don't Matter

Rygel: I don't run away! I stategically maneuver!

Crichton: Oh look averyone, sunshine's awake!

Rygel: Shut up. I don't need a grunt to give me a military assault lecture, I wrote military assault lectures.
Aeryn: You? The only thing you've ever assaulted is a plate of food cubes!

Crichton: I've got great eyes, they're better than 20/20, and they're blue!
Aeryn (later): Excellent. If we're gonna let blue eyes save the day, we better come up with a very good plan.

Crichton: Zhaan...
Zhaan: Stop bothering me, I'm busy.
Crichton: Yes, yes, yes. Private moment number 344.

Suns and Lovers

Crichton: Hey, Yo, heavy D, have you tried one of these things? There terrible, but once you get past the blue slime, underneath, pure aviation fuel.

Borlik: ...guy is a devron, raped, pillaged, popped eyeballs...
Crichton: Whoa, whoa, whoa, where do they get these stories? Let's get the facts straight, there was no raping, very little pillaging, and Frau Blucher popped all the eyeballs.

Crichton: No, my grunt does all my killing, I'm strictly R & R.

OK, I'll stop here...

[Judith]

Originally posted by Dante'-wants-blood!!
Chianna - Chrichton just proposed

Rygel - Proposed what?

Chianna - Marriage

Rygel - Idiot. *floats away*

LMAO!!!!

The entire commentary from Chiana, D'argo, and Rygel during that scene is hilarious.

[Dante'-wants-blood!!]

agreed.

[Gratto]

oh come on now, lets not forget during Rygels interview when hes on earth about how easy it is to pick up chicks.. 1-900-slut-girl. LOL

[Raina]

D'Argo: Alright, just calm down Pilot and tell us how you feel.
Pilot: Well I feel…(vomits on them)
D'Argo: I had no idea that he could do that.
Stark: I had no idea anyone could do that.

John: Zhaan? D'Argo? You guys okay?
D'Argo: I am but Moya is frelled.
Zhaan: Anyone hear from Aeryn?
Rygel: What about me? No one asks about me.

John: Which one, green or black?
D'Argo: This is not the time.
John: D'Argo, green or black?
D'Argo: Well black of course. I mean far be it for me to say but I've always thought the color of that green shirt doesn't suit the shape of your body.
(that had to be the funniest opening to an episode ever)

John: (After switching again) Yotz, I'll just crawl back to my royal bedchamber.
(Aeryn looks puzzled)
John: Joke Aeryn, I'm back.
Aeryn: (laughing) You bastard!

Scorpious: Ka Jothee is it?
Jothee: What the frell are you? Some kind of mutant?

John: Oh, man. I knew this was gonna hurt.
Aeryn: It'll be all right if I can get it out. Can you toss me that axe?
John: Yeah. What are you going to do with it?
Aeryn: I'm going to hack my foot off.
John: Oh, no, let me then.
Aeryn: Oh, just give it to me!

John: Next time you hit me, make sure I don't wake up.
(Aeryn clucks tongue)
John: Oh, don't (cluck) me!
(now THAT was a gut buster!)

[zelbinion]

sikozou: we need a sensor distorter

Bartender: sensor consorter.....is that some kind of pleasure toy?


Sikozou: Take me seriously
Bartender: I would love to take you..........Seriously

[MeDio]

Harvey: " Kill her now john, then we can have Pizza and margarita shooters."

John: " No one eats pizza with margarita shooters."

I love those lines.
And harvey is wearing a tropical shirt.

[MeDio]

Oh Oh and.

D'argo: " John I have good news and bad news."
John:" Whats the bad news?"
D'argo: " You are being forced to marry against your will and you will be frozen for 80 cycles in which time everything and everyone you know and love will be dead and gone."
John:" The good news?"
D'argo:" Chiana and I are having the greatess sex."
John: " I am going to miss you D'argo."

[atlantagirl]

I love the bunny costumes. I don't remember what they said in the bunny costumes, but the costumes themselves were hilarious!

[Darth Buddha]

"Either you believe, or...

....Chocolate?"

[LateToTheBigShow]

I liked Ayern in a really bad acsent saying "I may not be the princess you where looking for, but we still can have a good time."
Its from that episode which is like a video game (S3 or 4)

I second MeDio's post about D'argo telling Criton the bad news and then telling him he is having great sex

[Kyrsten]

I love everything said in Green Eyed Monster between Stark and Rygel. Those two make me laugh every time :D Especially;

Stark: 'My mother sucks what?' (Rygel vomits all over him)

Stark: 'Electromagnetic candy!'

[padmeskywalker]

I liked Ayern in a really bad acsent saying "I may not be the princess you where looking for, but we still can have a good time."

JQ, and it goes "Oh, well I'm not the princess you seek, but we could still have a really good time"

Seen it like 4 times. Season 4. Every time I watch it, I think 'Not Aeryn, SOO NOT Aeryn", blonde, strong southern acent (Ga, and Mine isn't that thick), completely helpless, and dingy. NOT Aeryn at all.. LMAO

[Alexxia]

Maldis: Fear and the terror of helplessness. These are a few of my favorite things.
John: Oh, could you do that Farewell, Goodbye song the kids sing? It's one of my favorites.
Maldis: [shouting] I don't do requests!
~Picture, If You Will (I think it's that one, yeah?)

Stark: There is nothing that is not damaged.
Crais: Least of all you.
Stark: I can see.
Crais: If only you could think.
~Infinite Possibilities: Daedalus Demands

Rygel: Not here, Pilot. Trust me. I wouldn't have risen to Dominar if I wasn't good at recognizing things before they happen.
Pilot: You were deposed in a coup led by your own cousin.
~Unrealized Reality

John: [to Aeryn from first encounter] Baby, you had me at "hello."
Aeryn: Rank and regiment now. And how do you know my name?
John: What you should really ask is how I know you got a birthmark on the sweet spot of your hip.
~Unrealized Reality

Chiana: You can't tell when I'm lying.
Sikozu: Yes we can, we all can.
Chiana: How?
Sikozu: You open your mouth and words come out of it.
~A Constellation of Doubt

Rygel: This is madness!
John: Could be genius, Sparky. You know, there's a very fine line between the two.
Rygel: Geniuses make plans.
Aeryn: We're going to walk into the most heavily guarded base in the Scarren Empire, start a civil war, and walk out with Scorpius. What part of that do you not understand?
~We're So Screwed, Part 2: Hot to Katratzi

...plus what I already have in my sig (esp. the last one...gotta be one of my favorites!)...

[ctheokas]

From Through the Looking Glass

CRICHTON: Look, I gotta get out of here before I end up like you.

RYGEL: What? Handsome with a great sexual prowess?

Rygel, a being after my own heart.

[jfranka]

A lot of my favorites were already put out there, but this one was missed:


From Out of Thier Minds:
Rygel (in Aeryn's body): "Just fire the damn gun you blue-assed bitch!"

[Tiriel]

One of my all time favorites (LGaM):

JC: "Work now, freak later!"
Stark: "Yesss, work now, freak later."
<thinks on it for a moment> "How much later?"

and from later in the Trilogy:

JC: "Aeryn...if Scorpy gets me..."
AS: "Yeah, I know, shoot you."
JC: "No! Nonono! Him! Shoot him!"

OOTM:

AS: "While you were in my shoes, I was in your pants..."

NE (after John barely manages to keep Chi from being sucked into the ventilation system):

JC: <laughing his ass off> "Pips, at least you still got your pants on!"
Chi: "Now that's gotta be a first..."

(not too sure on the exact phrases for most of these).

Love and Peace and Good Lines :D

Tiriel :bounce:

[ktani]

There are so many but this one still gets me
John to Harvey "What does Scorpius really want the wormhole information for?"
Harvey " faster delivery of pizzas"

[padmeskywalker]

lol

[Tiriel]

Ooooh, that reminds me! I shrink therefore I am.

Scorpius confronts one of the bounty-hunters in the ventilation system and when he pulls the trigger he realizes that the gun John gave him has no juice:
<stares at gun with disbelieve, then turns in JC direction> "Gee! Thanks, John!"
<gets shot by bounty-hunter>

That was incredibly funny in a very sick kinda way :D

Love and Peace and Whose Side?!

Tiriel :bounce:

[Frunium Slip]

Quotes, just love those quotes...

From Self Inflicted Wounds:

Aeryn: I think wormholes blind him.
D'Argo: Well, at least he has a hobby.

From Twice Shy:

Aeryn: There's nothing to say.
Crichton: The hell there's not, you hit me.
Aeryn: You lied to me.
Crichton: Hey, you lied to me, you said nothing was bothering you. OK, so I did not tell you about the poppers, you did not tell me about the baby, does that mean I get to hit you now?
Aeryn: I would not advise that.
Crichton: You... do not scare me, missy... OK, you scare me a little.
You want the truth... I was taking that crap from Noranti... to forget you... but you got to admit... it's kind of romantic... I'm just crazy about you.
Aeryn: You should have been stronger.
Crichton: Oh God... honey, please. Get... give me a break, I'm weak, I'm human, I'm a guy. What is the matter? Aeryn, I'm fine. We're gonna be fine...
Aeryn, Do not walk away, as much as I love it when you walk away... Aeryn! We're gonna be fine. She likes me.

Couldn't break that up, it's so much better in context...

From Fractures:

Crichton: Rygel, look, I completely understand, but you cannot let the little appendage tell the big appendage what to do.

Crichton (talking about the Boolite): Can he hear us?
Jool: Well, there's an ear here, somewhere.
Crichton: Uh, OK, this is a little too naked lunch.

Arwyn: The pleasure Dominar, was all yours.
Rygel (incredulously): You were faking?
Arwyn: Oh, males...

Couldn't resist...

edited for one little almost insignificant correction, one can advise, or one can take advice, but hey are mutually exclusive in spelling, frell, I should have seen that earlier, like before I typed it...

[Sirona]

Can't remember the tiltle.

John and Rygel dress in drag to resuce Areyn et all. John gets p/u by a peacekeeper (?)

John:"I love a man in uniform"
Purple is definitely not Chriton's colour, although Rygel did look regal in white.

[Frunium Slip]

Originally posted by CattieBrie
Can't remember the tiltle.

John and Rygel dress in drag to resuce Areyn et all. John gets p/u by a peacekeeper (?)

John:"I love a man in uniform"
Purple is definitely not Chriton's colour, although Rygel did look regal in white.

Coup by Clam

Crichton: This is not a becoming color, maybe if it were in black...
Rygel: I wear that color all the time!

Crichton: We couldn't fit in on butt ugly night.

Crichton: Excuse me ladies, do any of you have one of these under your skirt?

[ChianaMuse]

"What does an American want? Democracy? Capitalism!"...actually I liked the whole speech...but I can't remember it all.

HAHAHA! I used that whole monologue once (or twice now that I think of it) for an audition! :rollin: it got me in! and the people holding the auditions where like 'what? farscape? what's that?' me: 'nevermind' it was awesome!

anyway, the line that gets me EVERY time is stark "MY SIDE YOUR SIDE MY SIDE YOUR SIDE!"

[tesseract]

A lot of my favorites have already been mentioned, but here's one more:

"Honey, the butleth dead!"--Aeryn as the Pwinthess

[brokendj23]

creamsicle or fudgesicle?

[blueassbitch]

"Just shoot the gun you blue ass bitch!" - Rygel in Aeryn's body 'Out Of Their Minds'

[MrFlibble]

And lest we forget...

Cross my heart, smack me dead, put a lobster on my head

:spin: :spin: :spin: :spin: :spin: :spin:

[DRD1810]

John: [to Aeryn from first encounter] Baby, you had me at "hello."
Aeryn: Rank and regiment now. And how do you know my name?
John: What you should really ask is how I know you got a birthmark on the sweet spot of your hip.
~Unrealized Reality

I liked that one, too. :)

TGIFA:
(D'Argo has just... made a few new female friends....)
John: My boy D'Argo into the Promised Land.
Aeryn: Yes, and he's left his brain behind.

BOD:
Chiana: Our parasite problems are solved.
Aeryn: Rygel's decided to leave us then, has he?

LATP:
(post kiss in Prowler...)
Aeryn: I will not be a slave to your hormones!
John: My horomones? Hey, I was lips, you were tongue.

TTS:
John: Be nice.
Aeryn: I'm not good at nice.
John: Just don't shoot her.

MD (one of my favorite eps):
Don't have the exact quote, but it's after they get Stark to give up control of Talyn.
Aeryn (paraphrase): Stark, if you ever try anything like that again, I will personally take you to the other side.

SOd:
The whole scene between J/A in the waste shaft or whatever.
Starts with
Aeryn: You know, I've been thinking, about us"
-talk about how they could have sex right then to release tension....

And finally: had this one stuck in my head the other day:
from CK:
Rygel: When a woman, whether she's your wife, your lover, or a slave you purchased to be your wife or lover, leaves you repeatedly - take the hint!
John: Weeell, that was the plan, but you know how my plans go.