ScorpSik
11-09-2003, 02:00 PM
We all know Sikozu rules, and here's a nice little fic.
Hope ya's all like!!
Cheers
This was written by way of thanks to Raelee Hill, without whom, I would never have written anything.
Takes place between Promises + Nat. Elec.
To Belong
She could not sleep…again. It seemed like cycles since she had last, really rested in slumber. She had not slept properly since meeting these new crewmates… strangers. Oh, on occasion, exhaustion had taken her, but to actually *sleep*? No. At first it had been through fear, that the insane Nebari girl would kill her during the night, but now…?
She had been on this ship, this… leviathan… for three solar days now and, Sikozu felt, that the wonder would *never* leave her. She no longer feared those with whom she now shared this place, but still sleep was denied her. She would lie awake at night, listening to the gentle hum of Moya… comforting and reassuring, her mind awash with new feelings, and wonderment. Her curiosity bubbled inside her, and she longed to learn everything about this great ship, longed to be a *part* of it.
As usual, Sikozu found herself rising during the night, the slight chill of the cooler arns, making her shiver a little. The excitement and cold bringing out small prickles of sensation across her flesh. Dressing slowly, Sikozu silently left her quarters, and made her way along the corridors, towards the Command area.
Sikozu's eyes caressed the internal walls of the ship as she walked, taking in the beauty and majesty of this vessel. She still felt like an intruder here, as she stopped close to the walls. Reaching out her hand, she gently touched the living area, running her fingers across its texture. Gently, softly, trying to reassure this creature that she meant it no harm. Felling the smooth, warm surface beneath her fingertips, Sikozu heard and felt, the sounds from Moya change with her touch. This beautiful ship felt her… *knew* she was here. Leaning her head against the walls, Sikozu closed her green eyes and, with hushed breath, listened to the murmurs, and heartbeat of Moya. It made her feel safe. A smile touched her lips as she stood, pressed against the remarkable vessel, it felt to her like falling asleep in the arms of a loved one, their steady heart accompanying her to slumber.
It was deathly quiet when Sikozu detached herself from the sensation, and arrived in Command. She sat in front of the viewing panel, and watched as space embraced everything. With nobody else awake, Sikozu felt small and alone here - but at the same time, she felt… safe. She actually felt released to be *able* to touch the systems and controls, to feel their smoothness under her fingers, without recrimination. She gazed around the large area. These walls were protection, and these people, were both protected, and protectors. She hoped that one day, she may also be worthy of that protection.
Every day, during the last weekens, had held something new for Sikozu, and every emotion that she possessed had been pushed to the limit - fear, loss, pride, anger, humility, guilt and gratitude. If she was honest with herself, it was fear that prevailed. Where normally, it would be logic, and pragmatism that carried her through each day, since her… failure… to the Grudeks - to her government - it had been adrenaline, and nothing more.
She was not liked here - Sikozu knew that, much as she wished she did not. Crichton, she still did not understand. He appeared to swing between affection and hatred of her, and that was confusing, making her unsure of how to behave around him. She liked D'Argo. Though only a Luxan, he had treated her with respect, and she admired that. He also made her feel safe, which was most pleasant. As for the others? Well, the further away she could be from both the arrogant Rygel, and lunatic Chiana, the better. Quite what she had done to upset them so, was a mystery to her, but either way, not mixing with them was fine with her. Pilot however, was a different matter.
Sikozu cringed at her behaviour now, but at the time she first stepped aboard Moya, she had been so excited and confident in her own abilities, that she had upset the Pilot. The one being whom she could learn most from, she had annoyed within ten microts of arriving. And she was supposed to be a genius? She so desperately wanted to learn leviathans, but there was no chance that this Pilot would teach her, or allow her to assist him. After that first day, Sikozu had gone to the Pilot's den during the night. He was asleep, or meditating, utterly unaware of her. She had sat before him, lost in the sheer size of him. It was so quiet, tiny noises - both organic and inorganic - had sporadically punctured the silence, and she could hear the Pilot breathing. She had tentatively reached out, and stroked his arm. She knew that he knew what her job was, and that shamed her. Even if she could find the words, her pride would never allow her to apologise to him. Sikozu hoped that, subconsciously, Pilot had felt this small gesture. She allowed her breathing to fall into rhythm with his, as she sat. It was wonderful - a dream come true. In that instant, Sikozu was able to forget everything.
To forget her failure, and her fear, and the loss of her life. She had wept silently at the thought that she could be so blessed, and cursed in this way. She had lost everything that she knew - her job, position, respect. Her government and employers would be seeking to bring her home to death and to avoid that, she could never return home… never again see the people she loved. Yes, she had lost *everything*. The only things that Sikozu retained from her life, were within her - intellect, arrogance and pride. That was who she was, and she had to cling to that security. She feared that if she were to let them go, them she truly *would* be lost.
Sikozu forced herself to look at the things that she had gained. Freedom. Sikozu inhaled proudly, she may have lost much, but freedom more than made up for it, and no matter what was to happen to her, she could at least take solace in the fact that she was free. Sikozu thought about that. Even though she had been distanced from Scarran space, perhaps she would still be able to fulfil her purpose. Perhaps…
As she watched a patch of orange and green, drift past the ship, Sikozu tried to steady her thoughts about the chaos that the two others had caused on their arrival.
Aeryn Sun. She was clearly Crichton's girlfriend, or ex-girlfriend, or the woman he wanted to be his girlfriend - Sikozu was not sure, and she didn't think that Crichton knew, himself. When Aeryn arrived, she was sick - heat delirium - and had been saved by the other. Scorpius - the man who had saved her *own* life. Sikozu had been utterly shocked to learn that he was aboard - that he was even alive! She had thought him dead on Arnessk - he had saved her for some reason, but she had failed to prevent his burial. Yet he *did* survive. It was strange… this man had saved, not only her, but also Crichton's lover, and yet the others trusted him even less than they did her! Why? Crichton had said to her, "Look Sputnik, you don't *know* him like we do."
Sikozu had been confused by this… of course she did not, but this man had *saved* her… she owed him, she was grateful… she was curious. She liked him. Scorpius was direct, practical and intelligent. He was also exciting, and something about him, made her find excuses to visit his cell as often as she could. She had asked him how he survived. He mysteriously replied "Forethought and…preparation." It thrilled Sikozu, the way he leaned conspiratorially close when he spoke to her, those eyes piercing her mind. She had also asked why he had saved her. His answer both saddened and warmed her.
"Your death would serve no purpose… but your *life*… might." Sikozu had let out a choked laugh, which halted on her breath. It was ironic… her life did have a purpose - a secret one - but the way he had spoken, softly, and with compassion… for the first time in, she couldn't say, she felt that someone *cared* whether she lived or died. Sikozu had met this man only twice, the first time, he had saved her, the second, in one single sentence, he had made her feel more worthy than anyone else aboard had.
Sikozu was distracted by the sudden whir of the air reclamation system, and a gentle warmth began to creep through Command. The others would be waking soon, and it would be back to the same feelings of isolation. She was tired. Rubbing at her eyes, Sikozu yawned, and took another look around the room. She did not want it to end, it felt so good to be here alone. No shouting, or stress. Just her. When she sat like this, Sikozu did not feel like an outsider.
With a small, regretful sigh, Sikozu pulled herself to her feet, and walked back to her quarters. As she did so, she trailed her slim fingers across the control panels, the doors and the walls. And with each sigh from Moya, Sikozu's heart swelled.
ScorpSik
Emily Fripp
Oct 2003
Hope ya's all like!!
Cheers
This was written by way of thanks to Raelee Hill, without whom, I would never have written anything.
Takes place between Promises + Nat. Elec.
To Belong
She could not sleep…again. It seemed like cycles since she had last, really rested in slumber. She had not slept properly since meeting these new crewmates… strangers. Oh, on occasion, exhaustion had taken her, but to actually *sleep*? No. At first it had been through fear, that the insane Nebari girl would kill her during the night, but now…?
She had been on this ship, this… leviathan… for three solar days now and, Sikozu felt, that the wonder would *never* leave her. She no longer feared those with whom she now shared this place, but still sleep was denied her. She would lie awake at night, listening to the gentle hum of Moya… comforting and reassuring, her mind awash with new feelings, and wonderment. Her curiosity bubbled inside her, and she longed to learn everything about this great ship, longed to be a *part* of it.
As usual, Sikozu found herself rising during the night, the slight chill of the cooler arns, making her shiver a little. The excitement and cold bringing out small prickles of sensation across her flesh. Dressing slowly, Sikozu silently left her quarters, and made her way along the corridors, towards the Command area.
Sikozu's eyes caressed the internal walls of the ship as she walked, taking in the beauty and majesty of this vessel. She still felt like an intruder here, as she stopped close to the walls. Reaching out her hand, she gently touched the living area, running her fingers across its texture. Gently, softly, trying to reassure this creature that she meant it no harm. Felling the smooth, warm surface beneath her fingertips, Sikozu heard and felt, the sounds from Moya change with her touch. This beautiful ship felt her… *knew* she was here. Leaning her head against the walls, Sikozu closed her green eyes and, with hushed breath, listened to the murmurs, and heartbeat of Moya. It made her feel safe. A smile touched her lips as she stood, pressed against the remarkable vessel, it felt to her like falling asleep in the arms of a loved one, their steady heart accompanying her to slumber.
It was deathly quiet when Sikozu detached herself from the sensation, and arrived in Command. She sat in front of the viewing panel, and watched as space embraced everything. With nobody else awake, Sikozu felt small and alone here - but at the same time, she felt… safe. She actually felt released to be *able* to touch the systems and controls, to feel their smoothness under her fingers, without recrimination. She gazed around the large area. These walls were protection, and these people, were both protected, and protectors. She hoped that one day, she may also be worthy of that protection.
Every day, during the last weekens, had held something new for Sikozu, and every emotion that she possessed had been pushed to the limit - fear, loss, pride, anger, humility, guilt and gratitude. If she was honest with herself, it was fear that prevailed. Where normally, it would be logic, and pragmatism that carried her through each day, since her… failure… to the Grudeks - to her government - it had been adrenaline, and nothing more.
She was not liked here - Sikozu knew that, much as she wished she did not. Crichton, she still did not understand. He appeared to swing between affection and hatred of her, and that was confusing, making her unsure of how to behave around him. She liked D'Argo. Though only a Luxan, he had treated her with respect, and she admired that. He also made her feel safe, which was most pleasant. As for the others? Well, the further away she could be from both the arrogant Rygel, and lunatic Chiana, the better. Quite what she had done to upset them so, was a mystery to her, but either way, not mixing with them was fine with her. Pilot however, was a different matter.
Sikozu cringed at her behaviour now, but at the time she first stepped aboard Moya, she had been so excited and confident in her own abilities, that she had upset the Pilot. The one being whom she could learn most from, she had annoyed within ten microts of arriving. And she was supposed to be a genius? She so desperately wanted to learn leviathans, but there was no chance that this Pilot would teach her, or allow her to assist him. After that first day, Sikozu had gone to the Pilot's den during the night. He was asleep, or meditating, utterly unaware of her. She had sat before him, lost in the sheer size of him. It was so quiet, tiny noises - both organic and inorganic - had sporadically punctured the silence, and she could hear the Pilot breathing. She had tentatively reached out, and stroked his arm. She knew that he knew what her job was, and that shamed her. Even if she could find the words, her pride would never allow her to apologise to him. Sikozu hoped that, subconsciously, Pilot had felt this small gesture. She allowed her breathing to fall into rhythm with his, as she sat. It was wonderful - a dream come true. In that instant, Sikozu was able to forget everything.
To forget her failure, and her fear, and the loss of her life. She had wept silently at the thought that she could be so blessed, and cursed in this way. She had lost everything that she knew - her job, position, respect. Her government and employers would be seeking to bring her home to death and to avoid that, she could never return home… never again see the people she loved. Yes, she had lost *everything*. The only things that Sikozu retained from her life, were within her - intellect, arrogance and pride. That was who she was, and she had to cling to that security. She feared that if she were to let them go, them she truly *would* be lost.
Sikozu forced herself to look at the things that she had gained. Freedom. Sikozu inhaled proudly, she may have lost much, but freedom more than made up for it, and no matter what was to happen to her, she could at least take solace in the fact that she was free. Sikozu thought about that. Even though she had been distanced from Scarran space, perhaps she would still be able to fulfil her purpose. Perhaps…
As she watched a patch of orange and green, drift past the ship, Sikozu tried to steady her thoughts about the chaos that the two others had caused on their arrival.
Aeryn Sun. She was clearly Crichton's girlfriend, or ex-girlfriend, or the woman he wanted to be his girlfriend - Sikozu was not sure, and she didn't think that Crichton knew, himself. When Aeryn arrived, she was sick - heat delirium - and had been saved by the other. Scorpius - the man who had saved her *own* life. Sikozu had been utterly shocked to learn that he was aboard - that he was even alive! She had thought him dead on Arnessk - he had saved her for some reason, but she had failed to prevent his burial. Yet he *did* survive. It was strange… this man had saved, not only her, but also Crichton's lover, and yet the others trusted him even less than they did her! Why? Crichton had said to her, "Look Sputnik, you don't *know* him like we do."
Sikozu had been confused by this… of course she did not, but this man had *saved* her… she owed him, she was grateful… she was curious. She liked him. Scorpius was direct, practical and intelligent. He was also exciting, and something about him, made her find excuses to visit his cell as often as she could. She had asked him how he survived. He mysteriously replied "Forethought and…preparation." It thrilled Sikozu, the way he leaned conspiratorially close when he spoke to her, those eyes piercing her mind. She had also asked why he had saved her. His answer both saddened and warmed her.
"Your death would serve no purpose… but your *life*… might." Sikozu had let out a choked laugh, which halted on her breath. It was ironic… her life did have a purpose - a secret one - but the way he had spoken, softly, and with compassion… for the first time in, she couldn't say, she felt that someone *cared* whether she lived or died. Sikozu had met this man only twice, the first time, he had saved her, the second, in one single sentence, he had made her feel more worthy than anyone else aboard had.
Sikozu was distracted by the sudden whir of the air reclamation system, and a gentle warmth began to creep through Command. The others would be waking soon, and it would be back to the same feelings of isolation. She was tired. Rubbing at her eyes, Sikozu yawned, and took another look around the room. She did not want it to end, it felt so good to be here alone. No shouting, or stress. Just her. When she sat like this, Sikozu did not feel like an outsider.
With a small, regretful sigh, Sikozu pulled herself to her feet, and walked back to her quarters. As she did so, she trailed her slim fingers across the control panels, the doors and the walls. And with each sigh from Moya, Sikozu's heart swelled.
ScorpSik
Emily Fripp
Oct 2003