I'm sorry but I need to vent

[Jen10122]

Hi all,

Sorry for doing this. But, I really need to do this right now. My mom is driving me crazy and she's talking about killing herself. And this year it will nt be a merry christmas for me because my mom still doesn't have a job and she thinks that she will not get one. She's going to stop looking for work and she's also going to stop paying the bills. So, that means I'll be living on the streets come Jan 5. I wish I didn't have to live on the streets but I don't have any where esle to live.

Jen

[grinner]

do you have grandparents that you can go live with?

[Jen10122]

Originally posted by grinner
do you have grandparents that you can go live with?

all of my grandparents died when I was younger.

[harveywhispers]

Have you tried contacting Social Services for your county? They can help position your family for a large number of benefits, the least of which is Emergency Assistance for payment of heating bills. That department can also help get your mom some counseling, as suicide threats are high on the list for peope getting help fast.

Please let me know if you need a little more information, as this is really serious and must be dealt with asap!

[grinner]

any Aunts or Uncles that would be willing to put you up?

[Jen10122]

hi all,

I just want to let you all know that. My mom has come to her cents and is still going to pay the bills and will not kill herself. And she does have help. She just started to she a therapist. So, right now it looks good that I will still have a place to live come Jan.

[who45]

I'm glad to hear that Jen. Maybe a therapist will help your Mom turn things around. Don't ever be sorry for venting, believe me I've had to and it helps. I'll be saying a prayer for you and your Mom.:hug:

[harveywhispers]

Jen,

I am serious about contacting the Human/Social Services Department within your county. There are programs in place which are meant to help people like your mom. Please do not think about a stigma related to asking for help, as these programs are meant as a stop-gap measure to keep people from digging a deeper hole. They can help her pay the bills, get medical insurance, get assistance for food, find her a job which will suit her skills and get her the materials she needs to get going at that job. Please have her at least look into the matter, as she needs to realize that she is not alone in this struggle.

*The State should also have a program called The Department of Vocational Rehabilitation, which is another program people can work with in determining "what" type of employment they should look for.

*End of PSA*

[Jen10122]

Originally posted by harveywhispers
Jen,

I am serious about contacting the Human/Social Services Department within your county. There are programs in place which are meant to help people like your mom. Please do not think about a stigma related to asking for help, as these programs are meant as a stop-gap measure to keep people from digging a deeper hole. They can help her pay the bills, get medical insurance, get assistance for food, find her a job which will suit her skills and get her the materials she needs to get going at that job. Please have her at least look into the matter, as she needs to realize that she is not alone in this struggle.

*The State should also have a program called The Department of Vocational Rehabilitation, which is another program people can work with in determining "what" type of employment they should look for.

*End of PSA*

Hi,

Ok, I will tell my mom about that tomorrow. right now she is trying not to think about so that she can sleep. And right now she has medical insurance. She has the cobra plan from her last job. That plan will be go until Sept. And I think that going thru manopuase at this time doesn't help her either. What my mom once told me is that manopause can make you depression worse. And right now she feels like she has nothing to aforrd the job market. What I maen by that is that she feels she doesn't have the skills for the job market. So, she doesn't know what to look for in the job market any more.

[harveywhispers]

These programs WILL help her identify her skills, and how best to market the skills.

I apologize if I sounded a bit terse in my responses. You see, I deal with a lot of these issues on a daily basis in my line of business. I just wanted to make sure that you both knew there is help out there.

[Sunderflame]

I hope you and your mom the very best.:aok:

[Jen10122]

hi all,

I just want to said that you all are the greatest people that I know. Thanx for putting up with me. And yes, I will tell my mom the info that you gave me. And I also want to say thanx to all of you for sending us good wishes and for praying for us. I know that right now we can use all the good wishes and prayers that we can get right. Well, with that said I'm off to bed. Talk to you all tomorrow.

[Zantar]

seems i missed most of this as i was moving, but sorry to hear about your troubles. Hope things look up for you, and im sure i speak for everyone on this forum that we WANT you to vent here ifyou need it.

[VBKatLou]

Hey Jen, :hug:

I'm glad to hear that your mom is going to see a therapist. And maybe you should look into seeing someone too. Living with a person who is suicidal is extremely stressful and can really take a toll on the ones having to deal with a loved one's depression. Maybe you can have a short discussion with your mom's therapist and she can recommend a support group of others who are going through the same thing you are. It can be very helpful to be able to talk to a group of people who know exactly what you're going through because they're going through it themselves.

And of course - you can always come out here too. :) We're all pretty good at venting and listening to others vent.

[Clarsax]

Jen,

I'm sorry to hear about everything you're going through. The job market is pretty tough out there right now. I hope things turn around for you and your mom soon. :hug:

[SweetpeaAeryn]

Jen or Lexx (as I know you from FA ;) )
I'm really glad to hear that you and your mom are doing better. Anytime you need anything, you can always come here. I wish you and your mother the very best. And if it's alright with you, I'll keep both of you in my prayers also.

(BTW: You'd probably recognize me as buck_orange as opposed to SweetpeaAeryn.)

[Judith]

Originally posted by VBKatLou
Hey Jen, :hug:

I'm glad to hear that your mom is going to see a therapist. And maybe you should look into seeing someone too. Living with a person who is suicidal is extremely stressful and can really take a toll on the ones having to deal with a loved one's depression. Maybe you can have a short discussion with your mom's therapist and she can recommend a support group of others who are going through the same thing you are. It can be very helpful to be able to talk to a group of people who know exactly what you're going through because they're going through it themselves.

And of course - you can always come out here too. :) We're all pretty good at venting and listening to others vent.

YES. I agree with what VBKatLou. I've been in a similar situation as far as living with someone who took serious risks with her life. You need to take care of yourself too, because it starts to wear you down really fast. I hope you do look for support groups. Of course, you can always vent here too...we're a community...don't feel shy about talking about your problems when you need to. But a support group would be wonderful in terms of just hearing that you aren't the only person out there feeling this way. Also, in support groups, you can get tips on how to cope emotionally. It doesn't fix everything, but it can make it more bearable.

Take care of yourself. We're here if you want to vent some more.

[mgraylorn]

Jen,

If you are in school, your school probably has a counseler that you could go talk to. This might be easier to get to than your Mom's therapist.

You aren't alone, and neither is your Mom. There are resources to help both of you out there. Most everyone needs a little help one time or another, its no shame.

[Judith]

Originally posted by mgraylorn
Jen,

If you are in school, your school probably has a counseler that you could go talk to. This might be easier to get to than your Mom's therapist.



Additionally, your mom's therapist probably WOULDN'T see you as it would be a conflict on interest. But her or she will probably meet with you and refer you to another therapist who deals with situations like yours.

[trubador]

Jen, What type of work has your mom done over the years? What are here skills? Are you in Brooklyn, Bronx, Lower Manhattan? Maybe some of our NYC Scapers out there might keep an ear/eye out for any possible opportunities.

[Jen10122]

Hi all,

I finish school about 8 years ago. So, no that wouldn't help me. But, thanx for the suggetion. And I also have my own therapist that I see very week. And that does help alot. My mom worked in the Margage department of the Geenpoint Bank for 13 years and then they let her go because of the cut back and then she worked 7 years as a customer Rep for Micheal C. Fina and now, she's work for Pepsi as a Temp and she can louse that job come Jan. What she is doing for pepsi in Data processing. So, there you go. That is what she has done in a nutshell for the last 20 years. I'm not really sure what are skills are. And we live in Queens, NY. But, my mom wouldn't mind working Manhattan.

[mgraylorn]

Customer service, accounting, data processing - those are all useful skills. I think your Mom is depressed and doesn't realize how valuable her skills are. Maybe she doesn't know how to effectively look for a good job or market herself in today's work world.

harveywhispers has some really good advice. Please have your Mom check into it.

[Jen10122]

Originally posted by mgraylorn
Customer service, accounting, data processing - those are all useful skills. I think your Mom is depressed and doesn't realize how valuable her skills are. Maybe she doesn't know how to effectively look for a good job or market herself in today's work world.

harveywhispers has some really good advice. Please have your Mom check into it.

Ok, I will tell my mom to look into it. But, right now she is at her office holiday party. Yeah, she is really depressed right now. And that is because next Friday I'm going to visit my dad and step-mom for the holidays and she doesn't like that she will be alone for the holdays. Your right she doesn't know how to effectively to look for a good job or market herself in today's work world. And I also agree that harveywhispers has some really good advice.

[Jen10122]

hi all,

My mom just got home from her office party. And what she found out is that she will be loosing the pepsi job. But, it's not because of her, but because of the way the economy is right now. What I mean about that is that pepsi is letting out of it's workers. So, that is why my mom will loosing it. If it was just up to her boss then she would be hired for good. So, that is where she stands at this moment in time.

Now she has a few questions that she would like to ask about the Human/ Social Services Department about the programs that would help her. Here they come:

1) Is there a web address for the Human/Social Services department?

2) Is there a search engine or keyword that she can use for finding the programs that she can use?

3) If there is no website or search engine or keyworld on the web. How would she find the Human/Social Services in the phonebook?

and here comes the last qustion that she wants to ask and this is the big question.

4) Would the help be lost because of her cd's and IRA?

[Jen10122]

So, I feel the same way that my mom does. The economy mite be getting better in other ways. But, it's not getting any better in the job department of the economy. So, until that happens the economy will not be back to the health economy any time so. I said this because you need the jobs, so that people will have money to spend on things. So, my mom still doesn't feel that she will get a job because there are many out there to be fond.

[harveywhispers]

jen,

I am so glad that your mother is open to the option of getting some help. Without knowing your specific county, I would suggest that you visit google and do a keyword search for "Department of Human Services NY". This will give you a wide number of counties, and their subsequent websites. When accessing the correct website for your county, there should be a large amount of contact information that your mother can put to use.

Regarding the employment issue, I would suggest visiting this site (http://janweb.icdi.wvu.edu/SBSES/VOCREHAB.HTM). I realize that your mother may not be suffering from any disability, but these people are great for pointing people in the correct direction.

1. See above answer.
2. See above answer.
3. She would look in the "government information" section of the phone book
4. I apologize that I can't give you a definitive answer for this question. You see, there are a large number of regs & whatnot involved in determining elligibility (the workers are whiz-bang with the math). From my view of the system, in a department which deals closely with Human Services, I don't believe the IRA & CD's would hurt her ability to get benefits. If she received a monthly allotment from them she would, perhaps, see potential benefits reduced to a degree.

*I have the telephone number/address for the large state office at work. Should you need it, please let me know

[UTChick]

The prospects are better now, than a year ago!! You gotta keep the faith - Remember Crichton's line about hope!! That is sooooo true. You gotta keep HOPE!

Banging on doors, being persistent can pay off. You asked about where to look in the phone book - seriously - the blue pages. Both state & local agencies will be listed there. I'm not good for the web, so I'll let someone else handle that one.

There are some groups that work specifically with women & job marketing - I'm not sure the names - but I'd tell you to try a women's shelter - they should know who to contact to help you. You don't have to be attending the shelter - just use the group for a stepping stone.

Your mom's skill sets are quite useful. For temporary jobs, I'd try several temp agencies & sign up at them. They'll access the skills she has & set her up. With the downsizing going on - many companys are turning to temps instead of hiring. The drawback is usually not great pay, limited if any health benefits or vacation - but any pay is better than none. Many temp jobs can turn into full-time permanent - it's happened to me twice. You want to be at several agencies until you find which one will give you the work you need/or want. Check it out. It also elimenates having to interview for all these different jobs. You're working for the temp agency - not that company. A great way to get a foot in the door.

Good Luck - We're behind you all the way!!


HOPE!!!

[mgraylorn]

I think some temp agencies also offer reduced or no cost job training or skill refining classes. This is something else she should ask about when she talks to the temp agencies.

UTnewbie isn't the only one to have a temp job turn into a regular one. It also happened for my brother.

Your mother might also ask her boss at Pepsi if he would be willing to write a recommendation for her. If she can supply a couple of references about how good a worker she is, that might help getting a new job.