I am de-frelling-PRESSED!

[Scarran Raptor]

and it's all my advisor's fault

as you may know my step-dad died this past august, he was 52 years old, here's the thing, he died on the day I was supposed to meet my advisor, a week or so before class, I can't get another damn appointment for two weeks, I somehow manage to finesse my way into the only classes left available in my major (liberal studies) and I struggle through these classes trying to keep from flunking all while dealing with my stepdad's death, family issues, his estate and trying to keep sane...long story short my schoolwork suffers and I flunk the term, I find out over winter break that I was academically dismissed due to low GPA....so here I am back in, 11 credits to go and they limit me to 3 credits per term limit....HELLO, sure I already flunked once but I got back in, I'm still struggling here, I need to graduate A-holes! you'd think perserverance through adversity and stoic rebound-ism would be admired but NO! all they can see is someone who just screwed around and messed up but all that and honor mean jack crap to my advisor and the school, I spend years of therapy learning not to blow up over every little thing and that I'm not some sort of loser who'd be better off dead and my school basically tells me that I AM a pathetic loser who'd be better off dead...a little frelling compassion would be NICE! but no, they don't give a damn about me...all they care about is my grades well If I could do better I would, but you people are no help at all! so here I am with a lingering sense of "you can't win" while also dealing with people who if I was running for class but ended up late because a falling scaffold ripped my arm off and I struggled into class anyway I would've been penalized for being late and dripping blood on the floor, regardless of the fact I showed up for class with a bleeding stump where my arm should be and THAT"s why I'm depressed

[harveywhispers]

:hug:

First...my condolences on the loss your family has suffered.

I realize that this is not much consolation, but things will improve in your life.

[Lord Loser]

:shrug: Sorry bro... around here they don't care about your grades, just the money. :g2f:

But if I were you, I would try and see the University President and explain your situation (If you must cuss, use terms like frell, dren, etc.). If he doesn't give you remedy find out who the trustees are and get a meeting with them to explain your situation. You have to be a person with a problem, not just a student with a gripe. The current batch of nimrods you've been dealing with are mindless automatons who draw their paycheck whether you succeed or not.

If the trustees refuse to give you remedy, write a letter to the editor of the local paper, much like you did here, giving the U a big black eye, and conclude the letter with "I'm not asking for any special treatment, just a little understanding..."

[grinner]

Sorry to hear about your misfortune.

How many quarters/terms before they allow you a full load? What is the GPA limit?

[AgentSun]

i'm sorry about your family :( there's nothing worse than having a personal problem to deal with and then having uncaring snoots ruin your college career. my grandpa died this past september and i had to leave for a weekend to attend the funeral...it was a weekend, so no classes, but i didn't want to jeopardize my college career (first semester freshman) so i went to class anyways despite my grief....

i agree, go to the university president and explain. if you cant schedule an appointment (they're quite busy), then write a formal letter explaining in detail the reasons why you feel that you should not be held from getting the credits you need.

[Lord Loser]

One thing I forgot to mention, DON'T BLAME ANYONE! It was an "unfortunate chain of events", and you're looking for a remedy. If you start saying it was this guy's fault, or that guy's fault, they'll immediately think you're just trying to cover your eema, and they won't help you. Stick to the facts, and you'll get your remedy.

[grapeshot]

Okay, this letter is being posted by an ex-slacker who did in fact get on the Dean's WRONG list in her second year at university. Guess what? You really can make it back from the "shape up or ship out" list. Just keep your eyes on the endgame and your goal firmly in your head. Whatever games you have to play with the University to get there is only that -- a game. By all means, write letters, seek appointments, but the bottom is line is to do whatever it takes to get that sheepskin. Even if it means taking less credits per term than you'd like to. After all, when you consider how young you are, (well, at least that's what I'm assuming), you've got plenty of time. This ain't a race. Personally, I'd welcome the chance to take it a little easy for a bit.

[harveywhispers]

I was on "academic probation" for 1.5 years of my college life. Life plays nasty tricks on people, but it is possible to turn things around!

[Kurt_eh]

Sorry to hear about your loss. I understand what it's like, having lost a parent when I was in high school.

But don't worry, 'bout the extra time, chum!

I wound up doing my 4-year degree in 6, thanks to some creative major-switching half-way through, but it was a fun extra 2 years!

Do write your letters, stand up to what it means to be a 'scaper (follow all the letter rules), and do try to get the probation appealed under grounds that you were under duress. If you don't try the answer's always "no."

[AgentSun]

and its totally okay to do 4 years in more than 4. cause its not about passing and failing, its about work and getting credit hours. most communications majors in my university average 5 years instead of 4 because of all the credits they need.

[vikingscaper]

Sorry about your loss and you have my condolences. I really hope that you can get everything worked out with your school. On the issue of the number of redits that you will be able to take, for the vast majority of my college life, I have only taken 12 credits per semester. By doing that, I gave up the chance of graduating in 4 years and intead, I will be graduating in 5 years. I found that by doing this, I was able to relax more and I was able to avoid the mess that my sister got herself into when she was in college.

[AgentSun]

i took 13 my first semester of college and am taking 13 this semester. next year i think i'm going to take up 15 to 18 and eventually pull 18 credit semesters.

[Kurt_eh]

How does your credit system work? At my uni it was 3 for a single semester course and 6 for a full-year course.

Then again, we were probably one of the only Uni's in North America on the Stay-Nine system.

Everyone else is getting graded out of 4, and we were out of 9...

[Zantar]

Sorry to hear your troubles. Hope it goes well. Is there anything the community can do?

[Frellster]

I was kicked out on academic suspension (My mother killed my cat and I had Mono during finals). I had to write a lovely letter to the dean to get back in and then I had to take a crappy course on how to study. Other than having to take an extra course though, I could take as many classes as I wanted. So, I have a BA! hard won through perseverance, but, hey - it wouldn't mean much if they just handed it to you.

Positive thoughts in your direction. Things will get better.

[chri-baby]

I am deeply sorry for your loss Scarran Raptor. Let me start by quoting an old arabic saying " the winds do not seek the sail of a ship" basicaly saying life never proceeds according to our plans and its left for us to adjust.

I finished a five year engineering degree in 7 and not because I slacked off, in fact I was an honor student all through. its just that life dealt me a few twists and turns and I had to keep my eye on the road or else I would have crashed and burned. lets see my brother died around finals my freshman year . My country was invaded the summer before my third year and I had to relocate to a new country and a new university with a completely different system and lose credit for my first 2 years because the people who occupied my country also hijacked my school records. so I was only accepted on my word and the condition that I start all over again for which I was grateful believe me!
and then my second year at the new uni. I develop symptoms of a weird and debilitating disease which for the duration of two years kept me shuffling from hospital to class to a sick-bed. I graduated still undiagnosed and only recieved the correct treatment a year after graduation thanks to the good doctors at Duke Hospital NC.
My grades did suffer although I did graduate with honors I was no longer in the top 10% of my class. but to tell you the truth I did'nt care. after such along and arduous run I was just happy to cross the finish line.

It makes no difference when you get your BA what matters is what you learned while getting it.
So by all means write your letters and fight the good fight , but dont be sorry if you lose be glad for the experience, for in the end thats all life really is..a collection of varied experiences from which we can choose to either benefit or not.
most importantly you must never be defeated. things that happen to you dont determine who you are its how you react to things that happen to you that does!
chin up, I know you can do it ..you will graduate you just have to choose to persevere.

Good luck with the letters :aok:

P.S. sorry for sermon :kitty:

[JadedLegend3]

So sorry for all your misfortunes, Scarran Raptor. :hug:

Hang in there, you never know what can happen with perseverance. I agree with Lord Loser, don't blame anyone! College peeps never think it's their fault, and most times they don't take into consideration all the extenuating circumstances. I've been fortunate that my college has always been good with me, but I've heard stories of others.

Smile! You can do it!



Jacqui :love:

[UTChick]

I'm so sorry for your lose. That's always one of life's hardest situations in which to cope. You're in our prayers!!

The wisdom that surrounds this board can be astounding. The advice that's been given is very accurate. I can only second what the others' have said. Follow their insight!! Good Luck & perservere!! It is what you learn & how you chose to react to situations that determine who you are!

[Clarsax]

I'm sorry to hear about your loss Scarran Raptor. :hug: All I can say is hang in there and hopefully things will improve.

I know from personal experience that some of those college heads can be pretty tough, and often they do seem to care more about getting tuition money than the welfare of thier students. My last year of college was one long headache and I thought I'd never get out of there with my degree. The advice already offered on this board sounds pretty good so maybe you can talk to the president or the dean and see if they can help you out. Or if you talk to one of your professors they might be able to offer some advice or help you figure out what to do next.

I hope things turn around for you soon and you can get this all sorted out.

[mgraylorn]

I'm sorry about your step father Scarran Raptor.

Other persons to consider writing to are the department chairperson of your major and the dean of the college. Explain that dealing with the death of a parent and all of the family issues and so on involved in grieving that death distracted you from being able to focus on your studies. If your grades were good before that event, be sure to point that out - it helps indicate that the one term was an aberation due to extenuating circumstances. If you have taken several courses from a particular faculty member, or done some special work with a faculty member who could attest to your abilities as a student, ask them if they would mind writing a letter in your support. Also, if during the term of your step father's death, if you talked to any of your instructors about what you were going through, and particularly if any were sympathetic, ask them if they would mind writing a letter on your behalf.

Your advisor's a jerk. Unfortunately there are lots of people in important positions who are jerks. Hopefully there will be some higher ups who are not. If you can politely explain your situation, and especially if you can provide references and your past grades to show that you are a good student, and if maybe you can show that being limited to 3 credits a term is a financial hardship, perhaps you can get them to allow you to take more. That is not unreasonable. You aren't asking to have your grades changed, you just want a chance to take the classes over again in a timely manner. My father was a dean, and he got lots of appeals from students in his college. He tried to be fair in listening to their requests.

Go for it. If you can present a reasonable arguement you may get that 3 credit limit lifted. If it doesn't work out, follow the limit, do the best you possibly can, and show them that you've earned the right to be off probation. Good luck.

[Scarran Raptor]

Thanks guys, this means a lot, I appreciate the advice and like our favorite astronaut I've learned that plans seldom work...invariably the dren will hit the fan regardless and once that happens go with the first thing you pull out of your eema and hope it works, if not then the second. So like many other times I'm just cutting my losses, perservering and going through with what I can salvage it was a painful experience, but then losing my stepdad in the first place wasn't exactly a walk through the garden either so I guess I'll just do the one course I managed to save even though my advisor said I was dropped from all of them (yet I was still enrolled on the computer) nail that course, rebound and then take the other stuff, I don't need to race, I'll graduate when I'm damn ready, so what if my advisor is an insensitive putz, it hurt but I'm still here, and I'll continue to be here

[AgentSun]

i've learned very quickly that when the dren hits the fan, be prepared with a pot of coffee and an endless supply of tears. and when you get frustrated, just let your imagination loose and pretend you're racing to save the world from a nuclear weapon or somthing. just let yourself be calm in the midst of chaos.

[Lord Loser]

If you're going to stick to the 3 credit plan, I'd like to ask a question. How severe do they take roll in your remaining classes? If it were me (and you've got the time), I would figure out the classes you've still got to take, and attend them now. Do the classwork, skip the tests and don't worry about turning in your homework, but "take" the class now. That way, when you are enrolled in them, you've already learned the material, and you're almost guaranteed an "A", thus proving that it was their mistake and you weren't goofing off.

[grapeshot]

Man, I like what chri-baby said:
It makes no difference when you get your BA what matters is what you learned while getting it.

Once i learned to look at school that way, those putzy professors on their big ego trips became a lot less important. It's your educations, you're paying for it, so just see to it that you actually learn something.