Weapons of Wormhole Destruction Denied in Committee-Royal Hyperian Newsfeed Exclusive

[Otto the Mild]

In testimony before the Peacekeeper High Command Committee on Foreign Relations, Chief Weapons Inspector Ko-kura denied the existence of Weapons of Wormhole Destruction (WWD). In his opening statement to the Committee, Inspector Ko-kura stated, "I saw no WWD in use. I saw no WWD in development. I do not believe WWD are even possible."
Committee members were skeptical of Ko-kura's allegations, with some noting his previous involvement in an abortive attempt at WWD development with noted PK scientist, Scorpius.
"Are you telling us that after billions in funding and the complete support of a Command Carrier," demanded Committee Chairperson Grayza, "you made no progress at all? Are you telling us that the alien terrorist, John Crichton, has no WWD capability at all?"
"Who?" responded Ko-kura.
"Crichton! You worked together!"
"We did?"
"Yes!"
"Ow, my head hurts. What was the question?"
"Come here," the now-perspiring Grayza requested, "I have something for you that should clear things up."
The hearing was then barred to the media and the remainder of the testimony heard in secret.
No meal was served, though light refreshments were offered. No chocolate...chocolate...CHOCOLATE was offered, however.

From the Royal Hynerian Newsfeed
"All the news you can keep down."

[Otto the Mild]

Please note that all Royal Hynerian Newsfeed stories are copyrighted in the Hynerian Empire and in the domains of all the lesser species. Unauthorized use of the Royal Hynerian Newsfeed byline will result in the offender being fed to a Budong.

-Royal Hynerian Ministry of Law Enforcement and Pastry Cooking

[Frell-n-Grok]

LOL!

[LadyCrais]

ROFL! I love these news reports. :D

[Spedoinkel]

Shouldn't it be Weapons with Wormhole Destruction.

[Otto the Mild]

Originally posted by Spedoinkel
Shouldn't it be Weapons with Wormhole Destruction.

Letters to the Editor of the Royal Hynerian Newsfeed should be stamped and mailed with a return address via the Special Hynerian Mailing device located in lavatories everywhere. Remember to depress the lever or handle so that your mail will arrive at its proper destination.

[Reefrunner]

Hehehehehe! I love these.

[scrape_medic]

The weapons of wormhole destruction you are looking for are currently unavailable. The Hynerian Empire might be experiencing technical difficulties, or you may need to adjust your weapons inspector’s aurora chair settings.


Please try the following:


Click the cooling rod change button, or try again later.
If you are Luxan and typed the country's name in the address bar, make sure that it is spelled correctly.
To check your weapons inspector settings, click the Interogation menu, and then click Aurora Chair Settings. On the Duration tab, click My side, Your side. The settings should match those provided by your dictatorship or PK Special Directorate.
If the Special Directorate has enabled it, The Peacekeeper High Command can examine your planet/ship and automatically discover Weapons of Wormhole Destruction.
If you would like to use the PHC to try and discover them,
click Send Marauder Squad now
Some planets require 128 thousand troops to liberate them. Click the Estimate your resistance ability menu and then click About Peacekeeper Policy to determine what empire they will install.
If you are an Non-sebacean/Non-Scarren planet trying to protect your interests, make sure your options are left wide open as long as possible. Click the Tools menu, and then click on Nebarri. On the Advanced Races tab, scroll to the Head in the Other Dimensions section and check settings for your exports to Reality.
Click the Close Wormhole button if you are John Chrichton.


Cannot find weapons or Peacekeeper High Command Error
Hynerian Explorer
Get the WWD Series Five upgrade here.

[fiona-maria]

Funny.

Fiona

[Clarsax]

These are great!

[UTChick]

:rollin: :rollin: :lol :lol :roflmao: :roflmao: :signlol: :signlol:

[Otto the Mild]

Originally posted by scrape_medic
The weapons of wormhole destruction you are looking for are currently unavailable. The Hynerian Empire might be experiencing technical difficulties, or you may need to adjust your weapons inspector’s aurora chair settings.


Please try the following:


Click the cooling rod change button, or try again later.
If you are Luxan and typed the country's name in the address bar, make sure that it is spelled correctly.
To check your weapons inspector settings, click the Interogation menu, and then click Aurora Chair Settings. On the Duration tab, click My side, Your side. The settings should match those provided by your dictatorship or PK Special Directorate.
If the Special Directorate has enabled it, The Peacekeeper High Command can examine your planet/ship and automatically discover Weapons of Wormhole Destruction.
If you would like to use the PHC to try and discover them,
click Send Marauder Squad now
Some planets require 128 thousand troops to liberate them. Click the Estimate your resistance ability menu and then click About Peacekeeper Policy to determine what empire they will install.
If you are an Non-sebacean/Non-Scarren planet trying to protect your interests, make sure your options are left wide open as long as possible. Click the Tools menu, and then click on Nebarri. On the Advanced Races tab, scroll to the Head in the Other Dimensions section and check settings for your exports to Reality.
Click the Close Wormhole button if you are John Chrichton.


Cannot find weapons or Peacekeeper High Command Error
Hynerian Explorer
Get the WWD Series Five upgrade here.


Confess. You work at Microsoft, don't you?

I particularly liked the part about clicking About Peacekeeper Policy to see what kind of government they would install.:aok:

[scrape_medic]

Gotta confess, i based it on the spoof page that you get to if you go to Google.
Tap in "weapons of mass destruction"
and then press the "i'm feeling lucky" button
Have fun!

[Spedoinkel]

Oh I need that T-shirt.

Though it would be good if it had the whole thing on it.

[Otto the Mild]

Originally posted by scrape_medic
Gotta confess, i based it on the spoof page that you get to if you go to Google.
Tap in "weapons of mass destruction"
and then press the "i'm feeling lucky" button
Have fun!

I got this: http://www.qedcorp.com/APS/ExoticVacuumWMD1.pdf

Spoof? I'm sure the quantum theorists are having laughing fits.

[somniac]

Spoof??!! I thought it was real!

[akimbo]

:rollin:

[jeffrabb]

Originally posted by scrape_medic
The weapons of wormhole destruction you are looking for are currently unavailable. The Hynerian Empire might be experiencing technical difficulties, or you may need to adjust your weapons inspector?s aurora chair settings.


Please try the following:


Click the cooling rod change button, or try again later.
If you are Luxan and typed the country's name in the address bar, make sure that it is spelled correctly.
To check your weapons inspector settings, click the Interogation menu, and then click Aurora Chair Settings. On the Duration tab, click My side, Your side. The settings should match those provided by your dictatorship or PK Special Directorate.
If the Special Directorate has enabled it, The Peacekeeper High Command can examine your planet/ship and automatically discover Weapons of Wormhole Destruction.
If you would like to use the PHC to try and discover them,
click Send Marauder Squad now
Some planets require 128 thousand troops to liberate them. Click the Estimate your resistance ability menu and then click About Peacekeeper Policy to determine what empire they will install.
If you are an Non-sebacean/Non-Scarren planet trying to protect your interests, make sure your options are left wide open as long as possible. Click the Tools menu, and then click on Nebarri. On the Advanced Races tab, scroll to the Head in the Other Dimensions section and check settings for your exports to Reality.
Click the Close Wormhole button if you are John Chrichton.


Cannot find weapons or Peacekeeper High Command Error
Hynerian Explorer
Get the WWD Series Five upgrade here. :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: