Warning this is personal unburdening

[Frellster]

A romantic fool is the worst sort. Fools get blindsided because they don't look where they're going, but how can they look when the light of love is so blinding? They're not to blame for walking into the light, no more than the equally foolish moth. When the fool finds her heart (which, like all fools, she wears on her sleeve) has been burned by the very light she sought, she cries out in pain and anguish. Yet the burned lump of coal at her wrist still beats; weakly. Are you surprised to find that so?
Where can the fool find love doesn't end or burn or scar? She doesn't know. This isn't the sort of pain that brings wisdom. She's still every bit the fool for love. This is just the sort of pain that hurts; again and again and again. - by me

Apparently, I'm a tralk.

My boyfriend just dumped me to get back with his ex. He said I'm beautiful and its the best sex he's ever had, but that's all it was. He even went so far as to say he was never my boyfriend. So, hey - I have a genius level I.Q. but who gives a crap, right? I'm only a tralk.

Since he told me this over the phone, I wanted to confront him in person - then I remembered I can't because he lives in a fortress. Okay, first its a gated community. Assuming I get past the first gate, his house also has an ornate iron gate. Then there's the external alarm system. Assuming I get past that; its a "smart house" meaning it knows where your are at all times. "Motion detected in the gallery. Motion detected in the swimming pool area. Motion detected in the loft etc.. The only place without motion detectors is the vault, which is hidden behind a wall next to the theatre. (Incedentally, you have to press two spots on the wall simultaneously for it to open - fairly cool) So, I have a mental image of me, standing in the waterproof, fireproof, airtight 20 square foot vault wearing a ninja suit, with a sign that says,"You have NO RIGHT to treat me like that." Ofcourse, the fact is, the Cops would be called before I got within 200 feet of the place. So, he knows I can't confront him in person. He thinks he's better than me and that he can just use people. maybe he is "better." He's certainly young and handsome. Smart and manipulative too. I loved him too. Because he was brilliant. Because he talked to me for hours and I felt special. Still, the ninja girl thing has its appeal. Sure, I'd get arrested but I'd least I'd feel I was doing something.

[Frellster]

Hey, at least this is apolitical. Unless, like one of my friends, you think its about classism. I think its more about my bad luck in love.

[DRD2001]

You don't want to go to his house. You also don't want to fill out gay magazine subscription cards in his name using a false handwriting. You also don't want to use sulfuric acid to write in a perfectly manicured lawn, dirty or vulger messages about him. (That would be bad cause it causes the grass to turn red and die.) You also don't want to anonymously send him dog poop through the mail. (But there is an internet company that will do it for you.) You also don't want to put up "Lost Dog" posters with his pic, in the neighborhood, claiming he has been neutered.

Is there anything else you don't want to do?

Sorry, I'm not making light of your situation. But I know how you feel. People who treat other people like dren are just dren themselves. The fact that he actually made you feel special, makes it all the worse.
(((Frellster))) I hope you feel better and get over his sorry eema real soon.

[KellEy.. "red"]

i'm sorry that your ex treated you like that.. no one deserves that kind of treatment!!! :grr:

but through it all, i just have to say that i was :rollin: as you described your ninja-esque escapade all to hold up a SIGN that says "you can't treat me like that!!".. that was hysterical to me!!!

:hug:

[BrowderChick]

Well if he couldnt at least tell you face to face then he wasnt worth it in the long run.... Seems a guy like that that needs that many detectors has something to hide...I say hang up the ninja suit and run the other way...

I will send a :hug: to you though...

[Third EYe]

man, what a louse this guy is. Sorry...not because he dumped you...because he was honest and couldn't attain the same goal with a gentler touch. He's lucky your not my sister, and still, who knows...

[grinner]

thermite on the engine block is always a neat thing to do...

[Frellster]

OK, the house has three garages, none of which I could open without an electronic signal. Also, I've never heard of thermite.

[mfa96]

Frellster- you're not a tralk, he is.

If you're still in the ninja mood, I wouldn't go for thermite on the engine block- I'd use cheese or fish. The smell won't come out for months...

[BrowderChick]

I do believe this guy is a freak with something to hide....:shrug:

[Frellster]

He didn't seem like a freak. Really, he seemed nice.

[BrowderChick]

I dated one of them too at one time. I didnt mean freak as in "freak"..I meant it as freak as in what does he need all this security for. It just seems a bit too much for me.....

[grinner]

Originally posted by Frellster
OK, the house has three garages, none of which I could open without an electronic signal. Also, I've never heard of thermite. I have seen this done. You place the thermite on top of the hood of the car, over the engine and ignite it with a very hot flame. In less than an hour... the thermite will have burned thru the entire engine and start to burn the concrete. http://www.thecatalyst.org/other/thermite/

[LiLOrion]

Originally posted by DRD2001
You don't want to go to his house. You also don't want to fill out gay magazine subscription cards in his name using a false handwriting. You also don't want to use sulfuric acid to write in a perfectly manicured lawn, dirty or vulger messages about him. (That would be bad cause it causes the grass to turn red and die.) You also don't want to anonymously send him dog poop through the mail. (But there is an internet company that will do it for you.) You also don't want to put up "Lost Dog" posters with his pic, in the neighborhood, claiming he has been neutered.


I'll be keeping you in mind if I ever need to get back at someone. Granted in the long run doing any of the above wouldnt heal the wounds - but you'd feel REALLY good for at least a few hours afterwards. :D


Me thinks he has the security of Fort Knox cause he has done this to women before.



:hug: Frellster

[BlackThorn]

I'm for filling out subscriptions to gay magazines in his name. Or if you have his e-mail addy, you could always sign up for every "free" gay porn site you find. Can we say spam? But then, I'm not a very nice person, so you may not want to floow my advice.

I am, however, willing to offer you a :hug: and if I ever meet the SOB in person, I'll make it my personal mission to bring him to tears in public. :D

[who45]

So sorry Frellster. I know how you feel. Almost 2 years ago my ex boyfriend was cheating on me with my best friend, so I can sympathize with what you are going thru. I did get some small revenge by mailing one of his beloved albums back to him in small pieces.:D But time does heal the wounds. It does make you cautious until you find the right person. Here's a:hug: for you.

[JadedLegend3]

:hug: You'll be okay. I know it may not seem like it, but I went through a very similar situation this summer. While I'm not entirely okay, I'm getting there. You will, too! :)

[grinner]

I still think the thermite option is the coolest one. Nothing like seeing a car collapse in on itself... *hehehe*

[who45]

Originally posted by grinner
I still think the thermite option is the coolest one. Nothing like seeing a car collapse in on itself... *hehehe* Writting it down as I read this.:D

[grinner]

and yes... I witnessed a situation where someone did put thermite on the hood of a car... destroyed the entire car as the thermite ate thru the engine block and transmission.... it was an amazing thing.:D

[JadedLegend3]

Originally posted by grinner
and yes... I witnessed a situation where someone did put thermite on the hood of a car... destroyed the entire car as the thermite ate thru the engine block and transmission.... it was an amazing thing.:D

Very nice! :ewink:

[Mrelia]

Grinner, I LIKE the way you think!
Wouldja like to come over to my house & help me get my neighbor to move away?

[who45]

Originally posted by grinner
and yes... I witnessed a situation where someone did put thermite on the hood of a car... destroyed the entire car as the thermite ate thru the engine block and transmission.... it was an amazing thing.:D I'm sure now we'll, be keeping this for future reference, that and the 'Lost Dog' idea,lol.

[Mrelia]

Frellester, don't be hurt or angry.
I feel sorry for the poor fool.
He's lost you forever with his cowardly, shallow, cruel treatment.
Sometime soon your "twoo wuv" is gonna show up & you will be very happy.

Meanwhile, unless the jerk changes his ways. He's probably headed for an endless round of empty relationships and will never again have the opportunity he lost with you.:ewink:

[grinner]

nothing better than the 'Poor Man's James Bond' books and the 'Anarchists Cookbook'

[Mrelia]

PS - If you weren't a nice person, you might consider getting someone to put the following bumper sticker on his car...
http://www.prankplace.com/images/gfx/des_ilovegayporn.gif

Or maybe this one...
http://www.prankplace.com/images/bmp_tn_boobs.jpg

[JadedLegend3]

:rollin:

[Frellster]

Its fairly irrelevant, but even though he left me for another girl, he is bi-sexual, so I doubt the gay mag subscriptions would be terribly offensive to him.

Grinner's still obsessed with thermite.

But what none of you seem to get, is I'm not really in revenge mode here. I'm more likely to harm myself than him.

[Mrelia]

Don't do that!
He's not worth it!!!

[grinner]

I think you should be in revenge mode... Thermite is easy to make.:D

[abbadon]

Sorry to read about the break-up Frellster but never let a guy make you feel guilty or bad for him breaking up with you.....a lot of guys take that exact tact when breaking off relationships and it's cowardly and spiteful (and gives real-men a bad name).....

and remember LIVING WELL IS THE BEST REVENGE......failing that have you considerd Voodoo........http://www.wutalk.com/images/smilies/smilies2/ninja.gif

...a spare ninja if u need one

[JadedLegend3]

I agree. While I'm straight, I say no man is worth it. But, since probably 50% of the folks here are male, I won't go into anything more. ;)

If you want to talk about crappy boyfriend, sister, you've got a friend here! :)

[Nicola]

Originally posted by Frellster
But what none of you seem to get, is I'm not really in revenge mode here. I'm more likely to harm myself than him.

Frellster,

He is not worth your time or trouble. :hug:

You are a beautiful, intelligent, sophisticated really hot chick.

He sounds like a shallow, insensitive, doltish lout.

Sometimes we make mistakes, but hurting yourself is not a worthy response. Remember; the best revenge is living well.

[BillFrugge]

I haven't read anything anyone else has said. I've read enough in your message to come to my conclusion:

This guy does not deserve you. When he comes back, reject him. (He will come back, he's not faithful to anyone -- commitment means nothing to him.)

You'll find someone else. Make him honor you. Make him love you for who you are. If he loses respect for you, he'll leave.

[AgentSun]

ok ok ok back the truck up. first off, frellster, you do not NEED a man like him. what the heck is jirl power if not for use in situations like these? i wish a bunch of us could be there so we could go out for pizza and margarita shooters...i'll have ginger ale shooters cause i'm not legal and i wouldnt drink anyways. but the point is, you do not need someone like that who will walk all over you like a rug. what you do need is to be confident in your own abilities. you are awesome! don't let ANYONE make you feel like you don't matter or that you're not good enough. it's HIS loss that he went back to his ex girlfriend.

as my boyfriend says about ex's : "they're an ex for a reason".

[Darth Buddha]

This Guy is No Man

I can make one observation about this dude: he's no man in my book. You don't do that via phone, period. Were he a friend of mine, I'd be all over him for being such a schmuck.

Don't Ever Take Him Back

Don't EVER, EVER, EVER take this guy back. Don't EVER EVER EVER sleep with him again. He's made his choice, let him live with it. "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."

Recommended Treatment: Emotional Amputation

Just end your feelings now, by just saying to yourself the relationship is over because it ENDS HERE. May not seem all that clean, but is still the cleanest option around.

[trubador]

Originally posted by Frellster
[I]...My boyfriend just dumped me to get back with his ex. He said I'm beautiful and its the best sex he's ever had, but that's all it was. He even went so far as to say he was never my boyfriend...
The bugger! One big Trubby :hug: for Frellster!

Originally posted by DRD2001
[I]...You don't want to go to his house. You also don't want to fill out gay magazine subscription cards in his name using a false handwriting. You also don't want to use sulfuric acid to write in a perfectly manicured lawn, dirty or vulger messages about him. (That would be bad cause it causes the grass to turn red and die.) You also don't want to anonymously send him dog poop through the mail. (But there is an internet company that will do it for you.) You also don't want to put up "Lost Dog" posters with his pic, in the neighborhood, claiming he has been neutered.

Is there anything else you don't want to do?...
:rollin: :rollin: :rollin: :rollin: :rollin: :rollin:

[VBKatLou]

(((((Frellster)))))

I too loved a guy that went back to his "ex". It was a long long time ago. Forget the fact that he's handsome. Forget the nice house. Hang onto the fact that he broke up over the phone, which tells me he's nothing but a cowardly dolt.

Thoughts of revenge can be sweet, but in the end, moving on with your life shows much more class. Easier said than done. For today, and the next couple of days, pamper yourself big time. You deserve it. Go buy yourself something you want but don't really need. Be a little selfish for awhile (but not too long :) ).

Put your thoughts on paper. Or voice them here. Write him a letter telling him exactly how you feel about what he has done to you. Don't mail it. Keep it and if he comes sniffing around again, bring it out and read it twice to remind yourself of exactly what kind of louse he can be. I'm with Budda on this one. Don't ever go back with him. I don't care what he promise's you; all those security devices you described tells me he's only out for #1.

As for the rest of you, please continue with your ideas of revenge. Because they are pretty good and you never know, they might come in handy some day. :rollin:

I know. Let's start a revenge list. Here's one I heard on Oprah:

This woman was having an affair with a married man. They went together a long time and he kept promising that the divorce was "in progress". He got an apartment and she sort of semi-moved in. Then one day he tells her that he's not leaving his wife. He was going to leave the next day and take a week's vacation with his family and wanted her to have her stuff out of the apartment by the time he got back. So the next day she goes to the apartment and clears out her stuff. Right before leaving the apartment for good, she picks up the phone and dials the number for the date and time in Japan.......and leaves it off the hook!

Now that's what I call creative revenge :rollin:

[stellar]

His loss. :hugz:

Don't forget the magnesium fuse for the thermite. This is key.

[grinner]

Originally posted by stellar
His loss. :hugz:

Don't forget the magnesium fuse for the thermite. This is key. someone who knows of what I speak... :elol:

[kechara420]

(((Frellster))) This guy is a dirty, rotten piece of garbage!! (And believe me, *I* know--I've dated MORE than enough of them!!) I know it doesn't give much comfort, but the others are right--you are way, WAY too good for a frellnik like that!!

I've been where you are. More than once, unfortunately. I know it hurts, and I know that it can seem like you're now lost and drifting. DON'T give in to that feeling!! Keep focused on stuff like work, friends, and Farscape. It will help.

A bit of revenge may seem like a good idea, but the satisfaction doesn't last long, really. I found out that one of my exes cheated on me with a 14-year-old just before he dumped me, and told her I was just his "f***-buddy." I put a few dents in his van with a baseball bat, which felt pretty good at the time, but then I had to go home and explain to my mother why the cops might be showing up pretty soon. Not fun, and NOT worth it!

Remember that you have MANY friends here that you can talk to, lean on and commisserate with. I've been through it all, just about--ever walked in on your boyfriend half-naked in the building's stairwell with the girl who lived two apartments over? Yep, there are some real LOSERS out there, and we've all had to deal with them at one time or another.

We luv ya jirl, and we're here for ya anytime! Lord knows, there are people on this board 24/7, so WHENEVER you need to talk, just log on!

[scrape_medic]

Frellster, you are neither a fool or a tralk; he however is a complete idiot. And all that protection, well what is big on the outside is small in the mind, (and the pants!).

Do not diegn him with thoughts of revenge, he probably gets off on that too, and would make him feel more important than he should. He has revealed a part of him which should change the way you feel about him as a whole...that he is a coward and a cheat, and really not worth the bother.

Hang in there girl :hug:

Oh and Blackthorn, you scare me a little, but in a good way.

And grinner, you just scare me! (Have you seen those thermite clips!)

[Digger]

:hug: Frellster, this creep is not worthy of you. As was previously said, "living well is the best revenge". And has also been said, it is creeps like this who give real men a bad name.

I found out that one of my exes cheated on me with a 14-year-old just before he dumped me Kechara, I hope this creep went to jail for statutory rape.

[fermicat]

This guy is a chickensh*t a$$hole who does not deserve you. Period.


And if you do ever get to the point where revenge would make you feel better, I recommend avoiding property damage (sorry grinner) that would get you in legal trouble. No, I'd go for something far more subtle, but very excruciating, such as rubbing poison ivy all over his car and/or house door handles/knobs! If you're really lucky, he would touch his face (or something even more delicate) shortly thereafter.....

[AgentSun]

take a deep breath...does he know how much of a farscape fan you are? maybe he did it over the phone cause he knew you'd take out your pulse pistol and give him a new hole to think with...

not trying to make light of your situation or anything...

[NYPinTA]

Jerk. :grr:
No person is ever worth hurting yourself over. EVER.
Revenge is not the answer, but if it was I would go with the thermite option.

BTW- anyone else now a little bit scared of grinner, stellar, and DRD2001? Raise your hands--> :hi: :lol

[trinamick]

:hug: Sorry you had to meet one of the earth's wastes of oxygen. That kind of guy is not a man, he is SPAM - SH*T POSING AS MAN! :D And I would never encourage you to suck the innards out of an egg with a hypo, replace it with paint thinner, and egg his vehicle. That would just be wrong.

BTW, grinner, I now have a new-found respect for you...and thermite.

[Darth Buddha]

]Just find a way to do it and NOT track any thermite back to your home. That's the only kind of evidence they could get... thermite destroys virtually all evidence at the site of use.. the best most crime labs could do would be say "yep, it was thermite" when analyzing the "remains".

[Kurt_eh]

I'm sorry to hear this happend, frellster, and JL3. Both of you are way too good for these types of loosers.

I'm not so much a fan of the thermite option.

Putting shrimp INSIDE the hollows in his curtain rods (or even better, if he's got chairs with hollow legs.

Now that's revenge! The last place anyone ever looks for the rotten shrimp smell is inside their curtain rods...

And the best part is, sometimes when they move because they cant stand the smell, they take the rods with! :D

[stellar]

You Canadians and your seafood shenanigans. :rollin:

[Kurt_eh]

Truth be told, I'm an indirect victom of this type of a$$h*le.

Last summer I met someone and we had amazing "instant chemistry." Hadn't fallen that hard for someone in a long time. After about a month, she told me that she couldn't carry on (with me or ANY relationship), because of a similar situation. Things just fell apart after that, and now, I haven't even heard from her in months.

Just my luck to meet the one girl in the world who's afraid of relationships... :(

And if I ever meet whoever did this to her, I'll have to yell out my battlecry: "Not in the face! Not in the face!"

[JadedLegend3]

Originally posted by Kurt_eh
Truth be told, I'm an indirect victom of this type of a$$h*le.

Last summer I met someone and we had amazing "instant chemistry." Hadn't fallen that hard for someone in a long time. After about a month, she told me that she couldn't carry on (with me or ANY relationship), because of a similar situation. Things just fell apart after that, and now, I haven't even heard from her in months.

Just my luck to meet the one girl in the world who's afraid of relationships... :(

And if I ever meet whoever did this to her, I'll have to yell out my battlecry: "Not in the face! Not in the face!"

I sympathize for you. I am just like that girl you met. No relationship for me ever again.

I don't mean to take away from Frellster's time, you hang in there jirl! :hug:

[grinner]

Originally posted by scrape_medic

And grinner, you just scare me! (Have you seen those thermite clips!) yep... and I have seen it used in real life as well

[DentArthurDent]

Sorry Kid, very sorry for you. I want you to remember one thing about being a romantic fool. It is beyond the strength of many to trust, it is beyond them to really love. But from one foolish heart to another, I say that I have the utmost respect and admiration for you. To give your heart away, even to those who greedily consume, and give nothing back, is the strength of a greatheart.

as for IDIOTBOY, perhaps me and a few of my favorite 'Scaper Bro's should start sending him some notes :devil:

my favorite is:

'not to worry, changes of heart are a common thing. Just remember that eventually you will fall deeply, madly in love with a woman, and after some consideration SHE'LL WRECK YOU. Or you'll fall in love with some guy, betray him, and he will simply castrate you...'

David, AFD

[Kurt_eh]

:hug2: :hug: :hug2: :hug: :hug2: For all three of ya!

My best advice is like what's been said already (ie: GOOD LIVING)

There's far too many "non-Parkers" (think Buffy) in the world to waste time and effort on the "Parkers."

Try to think positively, and focus on what can be with a better person. It's all about positive reinforcement/imagery/thoughts.

JL3, I'm really sorry that you feel that way. I sincerely hope that you will find your "Wesley." If you do, then you win!

Frellster, you'll also find someone worth being with.

And Kechara too! Without you, the Graza Lonely Hearts would have gone another year without... It's worth the wait!

I know it!

Now if I was only that confident for myself :shrug:

[JadedLegend3]

Can't forget kechara in your group of scorned women, Kurt! She is possibly the sweetest person I've never met! :hug:

[Kurt_eh]

Thanks Jacqui, I've fixed my earlier post.

Lots of :love: for everyone! :hugz:

You all deserve only awesomeness!

[BillFrugge]

Originally posted by grinner
I still think the thermite option is the coolest one. Nothing like seeing a car collapse in on itself... *hehehe*

Hmmmm.... I'm thinking back to the 'scars' thread... I wonder why? :elol:

[grinner]

never injured myself with thermite... that would be... like... dangerous.

[AgentSun]

and you know you can always be a vengence demon...

[Harveylives]

Originally posted by Kurt_eh
Truth be told, I'm an indirect victom of this type of a$$h*le.

Last summer I met someone and we had amazing "instant chemistry." Hadn't fallen that hard for someone in a long time. After about a month, she told me that she couldn't carry on (with me or ANY relationship), because of a similar situation. Things just fell apart after that, and now, I haven't even heard from her in months.

Just my luck to meet the one girl in the world who's afraid of relationships... :(

And if I ever meet whoever did this to her, I'll have to yell out my battlecry: "Not in the face! Not in the face!"

Well, Kurt_eh I too have just fallen victim to one of those guys. My relationship too lasted around 1 month. About 10 minutes ago, she dumped me. She said, she can't trust me and that I would leave her, just like her last relationship. Well, I guess she cured the illness by killing the patient.

[Kurt_eh]

It makes me sad that these slimeballs can have that sort of effect on people. They destroy confidence and trust that can sometimes never be restored.

And then when someone worthy comes along, and tries to be understanding, they just can't take it, and run away.

My own philosiphy on relaitonships was, strangely enough, strongly influenced by Silent Bob's remark in Clerks. "There's a million beautiful (people) in the world. But most of them won't bring you lasagne to work...."

I want to be the one that does. (and I have ;) )

Welcome to the Forest, my friend. (see the sing along thread, it'll make more sense).

[StarsGoBlue]

:) Lost in a forest...

That's the first thing that's made me :) all day...shoulda known it would come from the stealthy shrimp-secreting Canadian, eh Kurt? ;)

But my poor Scaper guys... :cry2: ...wtf were these jirls thinking??? :g2f:

Their loss, gentlemen. Their loss. :hug:

[Harveylives]

Well, time to pick myself up by the bootstraps and muddle through the next few days until the weekend. I think I'm going to go see "vanilla Ice". He is having a concert at a bar around here. $7 a ticket. That should be good for a few laughs.

[grinner]

actually, I saw Vanilla last year and was pleasantly suprised by the Hard Core he was doing. When he started the Rap Rock stuff is when it got really boring. He should stick with the harder stuff.

[Kurt_eh]

Stars,

The song or the pasta? ;)

Glad I could make you smile! :D

As for the seafood, I'm completely land locked too!

The closest body of saltwater (by means of canoe) is Hudson's Bay. Although the Pacific is technically closer, there's a bit of a mountain range in the way.

[StarsGoBlue]

Well Kurt, unlike some blue-eyed American astronauts, I like Italian, so lasagna is fine. :D

And I've slipped from my Cure giddiness... I'm currently on a melancholy REM kick. :(

*****Stars :hug:
Thinking of all the shrimp that are safe
'cos Kurt is a mountain range away from saltwater. :rollin:

[AgentSun]

oooh REM. i think the best song in this case of frellster is "everybody hurts"...good good song. great video.

[Kurt_eh]

I'm in the process of learning "Losing my religion" on my gitter...

It really is quite simple, it's just a matter of teaching those fingers, lousy fingers.

[StarsGoBlue]

Oooooh... you play the gee-tar? :lech:

[Kurt_eh]

But back to the topic at hand. Listening to lots of angsty music is always helpful.

I recommend a dose of Cure, Smiths, and (just for Stars), REM!

[Kurt_eh]

Just a little bit of rhythm. Been slowly teaching myself for about a year and a half. Very slowly.

One song, that fits quite nicely with both Harv's and my situation is Sugar's "If I can't change your mind." And it's really fun to play too!

[StarsGoBlue]

Sugar... Bob Mould. :thud: Angst with a pop hook. :D


Tears fill up my eyes,
I'm washed away with sorrow
And somewhere in my mind,
I know there's no tomorrow

I see you're leaving soon,
I guess you've had your fill
But if I can't change your mind, then no one will

And all throughout the years,
I've never strayed from you, my dear
But you suspect I'm somewhere else,
you're feeling sorry for yourself

Leaving with a broken heart,
I love you even still
But if I can't change your mind, then no one will

Even though my heart keeps breaking
Don't you know that I'll be waiting
here for you

Then when you return
When will you return
I hope you see I'm dedicated
Look how long that I have waited
If you come back, then you will find
A different person if you change your mind

How can I explain away
something that I haven't done?
And if you can't trust me now,
you'll never trust in anyone

With all the crazy doubts you've got,
I love you even still
But if I can't change your mind, then no one will

Someday you'll see I've been true,
I'll stay that way until
But if I can't change your mind, then no one will


Chin up Frellster and Harv! Someone is out there waiting to :love: you both.

[Gargunza]

SGB: I love you. Bob Mould is God.

And Frellster: ...I think the part of your story that really got to me was that Jerkweed dumped you over the phone. Same kind of thing happened to me, with my last girlfriend; we were together about two years, and three days after sending me the kind of love note that makes passers-by go into insulin shock from the sweetness, BAM. The "denial" phase was over faster than I'd anticipated, and I started freaking out at inappropriate times, making REALLY bad decisions (one of which ended up with me accepting the WORST job I'd ever had), and generally drove my friends crazy at random intervals over the next several months.

So I kind of understand what must be going through your head about now. And unfortunately, I can't offer much in the way of immediate relief. You're hurting now, and you're going to be hurting for some time, and there's no quick fix, no distillate of lakka or other Granny potion, that will solve that problem in any kind of meaningful way. The urge to wallow in self-pity will be omnipresent, and sometimes impossible to resist. The pain will continue, until it stops.

But it will stop. Maybe not right away. But it will. So don't get crazy or make too many mistakes (unless you've got the phone numbers of some very trustworthy safety nets on speed dial). Just be prepared to enjoy yourself to the fullest when the pain is finally over.

Besides, you should just appreciate the fact that you've got your frelling life back!!! Realizing that is what helped me get over my ex, much more than wallowing. This person was ultimately bad for you--be glad they're not a threat to your happiness anymore.

Don't feel the urge to thank him, but Assweasel has done you a favor by setting you free. And his selfishness has benefited more than just you. Your friends (and you have many) will be glad you've got that much extra time to share with them. You can rejoice that you have more time to spend healing, improving, or just indulging yourself. And El Sphinctro has just done himself a huge service as well--by setting in motion his own impending karma tornado. (You KNOW he'll get his in the end. Just you wait.)

In short: Be like Scorpius. If you can't find someone to install that cooling rod for you, remember that Scorpius long ago learned the advantages of patience.

Or, y'know, there's the revenge thing too. Whatever works.

Courage....

--Mattttt

PS: Oh, hey, Harv: You hang in there too, pal. (And regarding Vanilla Ice: See if you can haggle that ticket down to $5. Seven bucks is too much, I don't care who's playing.)

[Kurt_eh]

Well said!

[Frellster]

Gargunza's advice is the best yet. I also like the advice to listen to music.

My Therapist told me to dress like a knight, talk to a tree, and play in healing waters. What the frell? Is that a real diploma on her wall? What kind of tea has she been drinking?

My ex's best friend (also an aquantience of mine) says my ex has more issues and hang-ups than anyone he knows. He wants to take me to dinner to tell me about them. I'm curious, but not sure I'm up to leaving my apartment yet. He also said,"Living in a 16,000 square foot secure house all alone can't be good for him. Who's he expecting, James Bond?"
So then, I pointed out that there's no sharks in the pool.

but

I'm left with the odd thought that my ex-boyfriend is a supervillian, and my therapist says I'm supposed to talk to a tree.

Now I'm almost more confused than depressed.

What the Frell?

[abbadon]

originally posted by Frellster
My Therapist told me to dress like a knight, talk to a tree, and play in healing waters


Pesonally I think you'd have more fun dressing like healing waters ,something Blue and flowing..(groan)..talking to a knight..(they're still some around)...and playing in a tree together...(and yes "grown-ups" it is as fun as you remember)

http://www.click-smilies.de/sammlung0903/mittelgrosse/medium-smiley-116.gif

[Artist850]

I'm a newbie to these pages, but I'm not a newbie to Farscape. I'm also not a newbie to life.

Frellster, you're NOT a tralk, and you're in no way diminished by this experience at all unless you give him permission to dim you. Even your name is telling: don't insult yourself. Insult him if you need to, but not yourself.

*Takes her burned hands and holds them gently in hers* I've been burned too, yes, by another coward. Thankfully it wasn't to the point where yours was. Either way it doesn't matter. I (supposedly) have a genious IQ too- it doesn't matter any more than numbers on the page. A person's value isn't determined by numbers on a page. We silly people give paper so much power over us. We also give things power, and we give power to people who we know will hurt us. Don't make this mistake.

Yes, he hurt you. Yes, you will heal. Yes, it will take time. Yes, you have support, even here.
I wish I could blow a stream of soothing air over your burned fingers and sooth all your wounds away, but I am not Time. I wish I could sooth the redness from their singed skin, but I am not Hope. I wish I could coax living, healthy flesh free of scars in place of the burn, but I am not Healing. I wish I could sooth on a salve that would prevent scars but I am not Forgiveness.

All I can do is hope and pray the best for you, precious stranger. And pray that my humble words have helped even a little bit.

[Kurt_eh]

And remember, you (in the plural) have something that we can never have: Jirl Power!

[Nicola]

Originally posted by Frellster
My Therapist told me to dress like a knight, talk to a tree, and play in healing waters. What the frell? Is that a real diploma on her wall? What kind of tea has she been drinking?

Actually I like those ideas! But talking to a tree? Well, I suppose you could talk to the tree as though it was your ex, and then if you get a little stressed you could always pick up a stick like a sword and whack that tree within an inch of its life! (Just pick a fairly sturdy tree - you don't want it to fall over before you are finished.)

I think the idea of dressing up like a knight sounds like fun... you could be your own knight in shining armour! And rescue yourself from the dastardly tree! :D

My ex's best friend (also an aquantience of mine) says my ex has more issues and hang-ups than anyone he knows. He wants to take me to dinner to tell me about them. I'm curious, but not sure I'm up to leaving my apartment yet. He also said,"Living in a 16,000 square foot secure house all alone can't be good for him. Who's he expecting, James Bond?"
So then, I pointed out that there's no sharks in the pool.

See? Your ex is really not someone you want to spend time with. Until he sorts out his own issues, he is only going to hurt others. You are well out of that relationship.

I'm left with the odd thought that my ex-boyfriend is a supervillian, and my therapist says I'm supposed to talk to a tree.

Yep. You are right. He is a supervillian and you need to defeat him (metaphorically of course). I like the idea of the tree and the stick, (just make sure you are far enough away from people that they don't hear you talking to an inanimate object, and then see you whacking away at it with a stick).

You are a good and worthy person and we like you. A lot. :hug:

[Kurt_eh]

Or, you could dress like the Dark Knight, and do all the above. ;)

Plus, you get the added satisfaction of all that crime-fighting too. All you'd really need is a bat-cave! :D

[VBKatLou]

Originally posted by Frellster My ex's best friend (also an aquantience of mine) says my ex has more issues and hang-ups than anyone he knows. He wants to take me to dinner to tell me about them. I'm curious, but not sure I'm up to leaving my apartment yet.

OK, this is none of my business, but since you posted it, I wouldn't advise going out with the ex's best friend, even if he is an aquantience of yours too. The last thing you need to do is spend the evening talking about a guy that you want to try to get over. A more worthwhile reason for leaving the apartment would be to pick up a pint of your favorite Ben and Jerry's.


but

I'm left with the odd thought that my ex-boyfriend is a supervillian, and my therapist says I'm supposed to talk to a tree.

Thinking of this guy as a "supervillian" is like saying he still holds a lot of power over you. He's not a supervillian, he's just some cowardly, selfish jerk. There's a lot of them out there (male and female). Trust me. When you're sitting in your rocking chair in the nursing home reminiscing over your life, that's how you'll look at him then.

Oh yeah. Tell your therapist to get Frelled.

[Kurt_eh]

Great point: Don't think of him as anything that holds power.

It's far better to think of him as water, and symbolicaly "pass water." ;)

[NYPinTA]

Originally posted by Frellster

My Therapist told me to dress like a knight, talk to a tree, and play in healing waters. What the frell? Is that a real diploma on her wall? What kind of tea has she been drinking?



I don't think its tea.... ;)

I second the 'don't go to diner with the mate' right now. I just have a bad feeling about that.

I would like to say that thinking about revenge is bad, but I am too busy hoping his teeth spontaneously fall out while talking in front of a group of people he is trying to impress... or twisting an ankle.... or I know! Getting locked in his super fortress of a house. With mean mad squirrels. Relentless squirrels. Hungry relentless squirrels.

[Kurt_eh]

Or Joe?

[NYPinTA]

:rollin: That is eeevvvilllllll..... I like it.

[VBKatLou]

I know! How bout locked in a silo with an alien ship, a squirrel and Joe?

guess who's been buying box sets of the X-Files? :D

[trinamick]

I got a squirrel I could loan ya. From what I hear, he's a mean hand with a folding chair.

[Mrelia]

Don armor.
Genetically engineer a talking Joe-squirrel.
Clone about 50 times.
Drop peanuts down ex's shorts.
Release Joe-squirrels.
Lock door from outside.
Sit in a tree next to the tranquil healing waterfall & watch the fun through binoculars.
Tell the tree how much better you feel.

:D

[mgraylorn]

Yea, thinking about it, don't go out to dinner with your ex's "best friend". Not to be paranoid, but how well do you know that guy? If he can be "best friends" with a total jerk, might he have a high jerk factor himself? I mean he wouldn't be the first guy to pretend to offer solace in an attempt to get into get into the pants of someone hurting from a breakup.

Not to say all guys would do that, but some would. If he is more your ex's friend than yours, suspect ulterior motives.