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View Full Version : Hillarious Commentary on David Hasselhoff on Amazon.com


Zantar
08-08-2004, 02:39 AM
Ok normally i wouldnt post this but i really wonder if these people are serious about the stuff they are saying. Ill post a few gems for you to realize what i mean.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/customer-...e=ATVPDKIKX0DER

This rocks in Bagdad as well, July 19, 2004

Reviewer: Saddam Hussein (Iraq) - See all my reviews
I was feeling a little down recently with my impending trial and have been prevented from partaking in my normal stress releif activities such as torture, rape and pillage. In fact my only real consolation at the moment is music and it was with a feeling of nervous excitement that I placed this David Hasselhof album in my CD player. What can I say? David's music spoke to me of the ancient wonders of Babylon and the wide open spaces of the desert around my beloved hometown of Tikrit. Hasselhof transcends the boundaries of race and religion: he is a prophet/ a seer and a poet. Even though these infidel Yankee pigdogs have trapped my body in a cage they cannot inprison my soul; it rides again with David; I am even changing my hair to the Berlin rock mullet look in honour of this great man.

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It's like your soul is huffing paint, July 10, 2004

Reviewer: Beau J Pinkham (Iowa City, Iowa United States) - See all my reviews
I admit I have not listened to this album, in any physical sense.

Last night, I took a moderate amount of opiates and stretched out on a bed of fine silk. I was tired, physically and mentally. My new kitten, Whiskers, licked my hair until I fell into a small trance.

An angel borne upon the back of silver whale erupted from my ceiling and hovered before me, naked and imperious. The cherubic face of the angel shined down on me, and I began to weep. He said only one thing:

"Listen."

And I did. I stared into his face for the entire time, his smile an even better drug than I've ever experienced before, and I listened.

When I woke up, I knew, just KNEW, that the angel was David Hassehloff, and the beautiful music that played as he copulated with my soul was his latest CD.

So please, buy it.
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Though I am old and feeble, Hasselhoff keeps me spry in ways that my 20-year-old blonde mistress cannot do. Truth be told, Hasselhoff is my true mistress these days. My mistress for life!!!
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After gorging myself on 168 hours of Hasselhoff I was leaking like a violated cheerleader and ready to return to work.
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My friend Chachi and I were smoking a big one last week and relating stories from our childhoods. When It came down to musical influences, we discovered we shared the same obsessions. Scott Baio, Don johnson, and....last, but not least, David Hasselhoff. ...When my wife divorced me and took the kids and pets, Davids glorious voice gave me the power to date again. I even tried to get a job as a lifeguard, but I realized that I could never be the leader that Hasselhoff portrayed in Baywatch.

MrVesham
08-08-2004, 03:18 AM
Wrong. Gloriously wrong.

*laugh*

AgentSun
08-08-2004, 07:37 AM
hahahahhaha thanks for the laugh! now i must be off to work. sigh.

grinner
08-08-2004, 08:23 AM
:g2f::roflmao:

Third EYe
08-08-2004, 08:52 AM
makes yah wonder

Zantar
08-08-2004, 12:28 PM
yah i think i hit the wrong button and ended up at at david hasselhoff while looking thru amazon and saw these. I couldnt believe they were real at first. I wonder what it says about him that he has fans like this.