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everchangingnick
11-15-2004, 08:38 PM
Zippers and artificially frozen cafes.

To determine why Laurie had stolen her own diary, Kevin did considerable research at the town's public library, telling the librarians his hours of work were for a school project.

The kindly women admired his dutifulness to his studies and even brought him sandwiches and pie.

When one of them caught sight of his notes and realized it had nothing to do with school, they began hitting him in the head with large heavy volumes and scratching him with their fingernails.

Eventually, he had no choice but to use the self destruct device Professor Saunders had given him, and the Earth was immediately destroyed.

Later, alien ships visiting the Sol system were disappointed to find one of their favorite attractions, the ringed planet Saturn, and been drawn closer to the sun due to Earth's absence, and all the ice in the rings had melted, raining down on the planet and ruining the lives of every Cabbage Patch kid who lived there.

Afterward, there was pudding.

The End.

Epilog:
Poisonous snakes were discovered in 1937 by entertainer Mom's Mabley. Then time travelers revealed their existence to a much earlier generation, altering the flow of history which resulted in Laurie stealing her own diary to cover up the temporal anomaly. Thank you all for coming, now get out or the doberman will be let out of the back bedroom.

Lord Loser
11-15-2004, 09:01 PM
That's quite possibly the best fan fic I've ever read...

harveywhispers
11-15-2004, 09:02 PM
:confused:

Red
11-15-2004, 09:02 PM
While your randomness is amusing over at the Dom, we appreciate it if you don't spam our forums. This thread will be moved to the Off Topic forum and merged with your existing thread there. Thanks.

everchangingnick
11-15-2004, 09:56 PM
:eek:

I spammed NOTHING!

I SHARED my own wonders!

If you feel it belongs only in the OUT OF THEIR MINDS forum, then that's the way it's going to be.

I certainly felt it to be the most APPROPRIATE forum for anything I might share!

Just remember, RED....

I too, am FARSCAPE.

Now hush or I'll give Aeryn your number when she needs a sitter, and YOU'LL have to clean the baby's pulse pistol. :D

everchangingnick
11-16-2004, 01:02 PM
Part Two-


Once Europe discovered it was the last suriving colony of Earth, somehow having held together as the planet went up, rumors spread in a variety of lauguages. Some blamed the Russians. Some claimed it was a meteor. Occasionally there were people who gasped for air, recognizing, unlike most, that if the majority of Earth was gone, so would be the gravity needed to hold onto an atmosphere.

And so the freezing, suffocating Europeans went about their daily affairs, bloating, getting all icycle covered, and moving far more slowly than they'd like, due to lack of oxygen.

It was discovered, however, that attempting to get warm by using a blast furnace only used up the remaining oxygen more quickly and the stupid humans who tried it were eaten by wolves who felt they just couldn't let the last surviving lifeforms on what was left of Earth be the stupid humans.

Calliope music played in the distance as the last few remaining tall buildings fell, and it was finally learned that Bobby, not Kristen, had shot J.R. Ewing, as the entire Kristen thing had been part of the dream, which went back further than anyone ever imagined.

The End....?




Addendum by "Clone Boy" from scifi.com posting:

Of course, nobody counted on the penguins interfering as they did. With their right-leaning political ideologies, the penguins were the logical choice to take over once the air was removed, and the coldness rendered other political leanings obsolete or easily refuted. Naturally, the penguins preferred the cold. The only real difficulty was the lack of anything entertaining on television on Thursday nights. Such it had been since the cancellation of "Friends." Being penguins, they knew this to be true. It would be their downfall. :(

freckle
11-17-2004, 04:53 AM
your another Douglas Adams in the making honey!!

everchangingnick
11-17-2004, 05:31 AM
your another Douglas Adams in the making honey!!

Don't be silly. Adams wasn't insane.

Much.

Besides, a "certain person" who's quite vocal on this board (NOT Red) had decided to take a dislike to me, and accuse me of being a troll.

Well, I don't have a very high opinion of them, now. :freak2:

They're the real troll! :nana:

Besides, if I let it bother me, I might become sane.

Can't allow that. :swing:

Shipscat
11-17-2004, 07:25 AM
The earth fell into the sun and almost everyone died.