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View Full Version : Area 51 Base is a Nudist Camp Shocker!


Jim Reaper
09-03-2005, 08:58 AM
Source (http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/conspiracies/51179)

GROOM LAKE, Nev. -- The truth about Area 51 has finally been laid bare. Contrary to popular belief, the mysterious Air Force base isn't a repository for downed UFOs -- it's a nudist camp for the nation's top military brass!

That's the shocking assertion of a UFO buff who claims he penetrated the heavily guarded secret compound using a hang glider and got an unexpected, X-rated look at high-ranking Pentagon officials. "I risked my neck hoping to find tangible proof of alien visitation," says the man, who asked to be identified only as "Mr. X." "Instead I was treated to the sight of all these people in crew cuts cavorting in their birthday suits. My God, it was like one of those old-fashioned nudist camps from the 1960s."

Mr. X estimates he saw 250 buck-naked officers engaged in such activities as volleyball, aerobics, swimming, group meditation and yoga. "I spotted a top Department of Defense official I recognized from TV press briefings," he says."I'm not going to name him but you know who I mean."

Although most of the bare-bottomed military personnel were white-haired males in their 50s -- some sporting visible potbellies -- many were female and "unbelievably fit," notes Mr. X, who hurriedly snapped some photos.

After just 15 minutes within the perimeter, Mr. X says he was captured by M.P.s, who seized his camera, roughed him up and escorted him by jeep off the grounds -- after trying to intimidate him with warnings that there would be "very dire consequences" if he ever told anyone what he saw.

Breaking News

STRIP CLUBS SPRAY AIR WITH SEX DRUG TO MAKE MEN SPEND MORE MONEY!

OOPS! DRUGSTORE CONFUSES SUPER GLUE WITH HEMORRHOID CREAM!

REVEALED AT LAST... THE THINGS WOMEN REALLY THINK ABOUT WHILE HAVING SEX!

:lol

Weekly World News: sniggering at gullible people since 19xx.

trubador
09-03-2005, 10:28 AM
Ya know.... I WARNED LL not to attempt this fly-over... :shrug:

:rollin:

scrape_medic
09-03-2005, 12:37 PM
:lol

BrowderChick
09-03-2005, 05:06 PM
:rollin:

Clarsax
09-03-2005, 06:58 PM
:lol

Jim Reaper
09-03-2005, 07:26 PM
http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/features/science/61498


Ladies take note. :D

who45
09-03-2005, 07:26 PM
:rollin:

Fyodor
09-04-2005, 03:09 AM
Alien corpses, old peoples.... parts.

What's the diffrence, really?

Jim Reaper
09-06-2005, 11:37 AM
http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/features/science/61492

A Female scientist has found the gene that allows women to ask for directions.

Thelma Thataway, a geneticist at the prestigious Pointer Institute at Four Corners, Arizona, says her discovery is good news for men.

"It's well-known that most men would rather get lost for hours than ask a stranger for directions," says Thataway. "Three years ago, there was a case of a 75-year-old man who ended up 1,000 miles from his home because he took a left turn instead of a right and refused to admit he was lost.

"Wives have yelled at their husbands for being incredibly stubborn. But now it turns out that it's not really their fault. They're genetically incapable of asking."

Thataway theorizes that not asking for directions had an evolutionary advantage for men. "I can't imagine what it is," she says.

"But whenever we discover something biological, we explain that it had an evolutionary advantage."

Ironically, she says that she's found a dormant "direction" gene in men, but she's keeping the location a secret.

"If men scientists want to know where it is, they can ask me.

"But they won't."
:lol

Pfft, I always know exactly where I'm going. :yes: