Life is fragile

[Ka D'Argo]

hey everyone, while this weekend was supposed to be a party weekend. Having fun and just goofing off, it was not like that here in St. Petersburg Fl. My girlfriend's really good friend commited suicide two days ago. He jumped from an over-pass and was in critical condition until he died early sunday morning. This seriously came as a shock to everyone, he was a popular guy and everyone seemed to like him, but even those people have deep wounds that they feel the only answer is to end their life. I did not really know the guy, but i feel the pain that my girlfriend is going through. I listened on the phone for a long time last night just letting her cry and say whatever she felt like saying, and it sucked. Death is a wierd subject for me, i don't fear it, but i get very uneasy when people talk about it. But as i sat there and listened to the person i care about more than anything in the world spill her heart out to me i felt like crying right along with her. I felt useless, not knowing what to tell her except saying over and over again "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry". I wanted to just tell her that it will all be ok and tommorrow he will walk into class and this will all be a horrible sick dream, but i can't. People don't realinze how many people are affected by one a person does. To take his life he might have ended his problems but now the people who loved and cared about him are the ones that are hurting. Like I said before i didn't even know this kid but talking with my girlfriend it feels like i hav know him my whole life. Well I needed to get that out, thanks for listening. Keep my girlfriend in your guys prayers and thoughts, she's going through a really hard time obviously. thanks guys

[BrowderChick]

Send her my deepest sympathies. :hug:

She is in my prayers as well and him and his family.

Really the only thing you can do for her right now is to be by her side and hold her up when she feels she is falling. Just be there for her when she needs you. Give her the extra strength and reasurance that shes needs right now. I know how she feels and Ive been there myself. Sending prayers. :hug:

[scorponaleash]

i felt like crying right along with her. I felt useless, not knowing what to tell her except saying over and over again "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry"

you should have done exactly that

also, perhaps your words (due to your own feelings of helplessness) might have only served to complicate things
It's good to just listen, hug, consolation by pure empathy is a powerful thing

You did the right thing.
There are many forms of dispassionate relationships...
it's good to know that you have a conscience
it makes you sublimely human
Crichton would be proud to know you cared.

[eta_carinae]

oh wow, I'm sorry! I don't know what to say except I'm sorry. It is sad when a person leaves us for ever. I'm glad you were there for your girlfriend, I'm sure your just listening to her meant more than you know. Hang in there :)

[Fyodor]

My cousins friend jumped off the roof of a building, but before he did it he wrote "i'm sorry mom" on the roof. And one of my sisters friends got hit by a train. So i'm no stranger to these kind of things.

But I really do belive that time heals.

[trubador]

:hug::cry2::hug:
:hug::cry2::hug:

[who45]

my prayers and thoughts go out to all of you. :hug:

[DRD 1812]

Tonight especially. I know some people will party regardless of work and school. Happy Samhain everyone!

[zahncrelnik]

Prayers and good thoughts to you both Ka D'Argo, :meditate:

You are a kind and gentle person, Ka D'Argo. Your girlfriend
is lucky to have such a caring friend as you. Just be there
for her and let her cry on your shoulder. That is all you really
can do for her. Your support at this time is the most important
thing you can give her. :hug:

[ctheokas]

You guys are in all of our prayers, Ka D'Argo.

And BrowderChick said it best: Just be there. It might sound horrible, but there's nothing you can say. But by simply being there for your girlfriend, you're doing a whole hell of a lot. More than you probably know.

[jerseygirl]

You may have felt useless, Ka D'Argo, but you weren't. Just being there for her was huge. And it isn't always necessary to have an answer or to be able to say something to "make it better". You gave her exactly what she needed, which was someone to listen to her and to let her know that you cared about what she was feeling, not judging her or making her think that she should feel one way or another. You're right. Life is fragile and perilous. But in spite of that -- or maybe because of that -- we need to enjoy every moment that we can. Don't beat yourself up. You did the very best thing you could have.

[I-am-so-Johns-girl]

:hug2:

[Mrelia]

I feel for you and for your girlfirend and want to add my 2 cents.

You do the most good by just being there and giving her unconditional comfort and support as she deals with her grief. We're all glad she's got someone like you in her life.

Just speaking from personal experience here, if she begins to say things that begin with, "I should have..." Be ready to tell her that her friend was made his own decision and no one can change that. He was ILL and probably hiding the true extent of his problems from everyone. When a person chooses to end their life, there's nothing anyone else can do about it...they can be kept away from the means to the best of our abilities, but if they really want to die they will find a way.

My prayers are with his family and friends.

[Ka D'Argo]

You guys are awesome. These word were more encouragement than you know. I was feeling really down today, obviously. After i wrote this thread i found the article in the Sunday newspaper telling of how they had found a young kid lying under an over pass and he was in critical condition. that was him, and when i read that my heart sank again. But then i came on here and started reading the responses u guys wrote and it made me feel better. It put things in perspective. So i will continue to be the shoulder for my girlfriend to cry on, I wil continue to listen to everything she has to say, and i will love her even more because of it. Man, i wish you guys could meet her she is the greatest thing to happen in my life. But anyways, thanks again for the encouragement, for people i have never met i feel like i've know you guys forever. And who knew a future Marine would be so dang sensitive! :rolleyes:

[scrape_medic]

Mrelia is absolutely right. There would have been nothing your girlfriend could have done. Don't try and reason it out with her, there is no reason, not one that anyone else would know or understand. The only person who would be able to understand the full reason for it has taken thier secret with them. Suicide is such a hurtful death for those left behind. Like the others have said, just be there for the girlfriend.

[BrowderChick]

:hug: We are your friends. :D

[jerseygirl]

Hey, that's what we're here for, Ka D'Argo -- to give a little support to each other when we need it.

[kechara420]

My thoughts and prayers are with you both, and with the man's family and friends as well.

The others are right--sometimes all you can do is be there for someone when they're feeling sad and lost. Time DOES heal, and your love and support will make it a little easier for her. That's what matters.

[Clarsax]

:hug: :hug: :hug: