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View Full Version : Dear The Devil,


scrape_medic
05-30-2006, 02:46 PM
Ref: Next Tuesday 06/06/06

Whilst I appreciate that you may have been waiting for this date to come along for a very long time, and whilst I can appreciate the significance of the end of the world as we know it, it has come to my attention that I am scheduled to work on that day.

I therefore have a number of requests including the following:

Please can you avoid perfornming any acts of total destruction that may involve the need for ambulance attendance between the hours of eight in the morning till at least four thirty in the afternoon, remembering that I never get off work in time.

Please do not in any way attempt to change, mutate, transform or disfigure my plumber into any form of being/demon/angel of death, that may impede his ability to complete my bathroom re-build on schedule. He was hard enough to find in the first place and whilst I may not even have a bathroom after the four horses of the apocalypse have ridden through it, assuming there is in fact enough of a room to work with, finding another suitable tradesman, given that most of them were half way to hell before, may prove impossible.

Please remember that I may say "go to hell" to any number of people during a normal day, but this does not actually mean I would like you to rise up and drag their screaming tormented bodies down to the depths of hades. I have been known to say it in jest to people I actually like, so to avoid any embarressing situations please ignore any curses that I may say during that day.

thanking you in advance.

woolhoss
05-30-2006, 04:03 PM
Personally, I believe the devil can suck it

scrape_medic
05-30-2006, 04:09 PM
suck what?:P

woolhoss
05-30-2006, 04:11 PM
Oh.....He knows what.

malachilenomade
05-30-2006, 04:13 PM
That's funny :)

What's funnier is I saw something on fark the other day about women having their births induced because they don't want to give birth to the Anti-Christ :D

Now THAT'S funny!

I say it's funny only because it's so absurd... And does anyone else think it's stupid that they remade The Omen?

Sycamor
05-30-2006, 05:34 PM
I have plans then too

who45
05-30-2006, 07:03 PM
:rollin:

BrowderChick
05-30-2006, 07:05 PM
:rollin:
I have my own little hell and no one wants to rule it. :lol

TheBladeRoden
05-30-2006, 07:53 PM
I have nothing going on that day

scrape_medic
05-30-2006, 08:11 PM
If I were you TBR.....I'd find something to do. Remember the old saying, the devil makes works for idle hands.

woolhoss
05-30-2006, 08:13 PM
I'll be exorcising everything I own

SpeX
05-30-2006, 08:24 PM
They were saying the world was gonna end back in'83,so I blew off school that day.And wouldn't you know it,the world didn't end and I got detention the next day.
I'm not fallin' for it this time.

scrape_medic
05-30-2006, 08:50 PM
It did end in '83......it just started all over again right after.

TheBladeRoden
05-30-2006, 09:31 PM
By crikey I was born in 83! So it seems to be that as the world was born with me, so too will it die with me.

arthurfrdent
05-31-2006, 02:09 AM
It did end in '83......it just started all over again right after.

it's frightening how much that explains :rollin:

TalynLives
05-31-2006, 06:17 AM
That's funny :)

What's funnier is I saw something on fark the other day about women having
their births induced because they don't want to give birth to the Anti-Christ :D

Now THAT'S funny!


Oh great, that just means we get the Anti-Christ a few days earlier.

malachilenomade
05-31-2006, 03:36 PM
Oh great, that just means we get the Anti-Christ a few days earlier.
Like I said: It's absurd :D

ctheokas
05-31-2006, 03:58 PM
I read about that woman, too. Jebus, what a freak.

Nutty_Angel
05-31-2006, 04:22 PM
Can't the Apocalypus (sp?) wait until after the 14th (my Birthday), It'll only have to hold for a week promise!!

wa11z
05-31-2006, 04:33 PM
Man! I just drug my wretched corpse up from the eternal torment last Tuesday!

scrape_medic
05-31-2006, 04:35 PM
You are going to have one hell of a case of deja vu then wa11z.

scrape_medic
06-05-2006, 01:58 PM
Well I haven't had a reply yet......is that a good thing? Maybe it proves the non-existance of the devil....

ctheokas
06-05-2006, 02:06 PM
Dear Mr. Devil (or Woland, as the case may be),

Since tomorrow is 666, I have a request. Please let me come in to work, but make sure the computers won't run Documentum, so I don't have to do anything, but sit around and surf the net, talk to my co-workers, and e-mail my wife and friends all day long.

Also, make sure that the Fresco Tortilla down the street has fresh ingredients for when I go to lunch. For this, I will give you my cousin's soul. She may be using it, but I don't care.

Thank you,

ctheokas

Sycamor
06-05-2006, 09:03 PM
What time zone does The Devil operate from? Universal time, or does he customize things locally?

ctheokas
06-05-2006, 09:22 PM
I'm hoping he does it local.

TalynLives
06-06-2006, 03:57 AM
Happy Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia) Day everyone!! :D

ctheokas
06-06-2006, 07:33 AM
You know, I put up my Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia tree last night. Put the pentagram on top at the stroke of midnight.

MotorWerk
06-06-2006, 07:47 AM
3:44 pm in Norway and still no church burned down by blackmetalers gone crazy.