Why I Hate Cleaning Ovens

[StephX]

http://www.angelfire.com/id/CrazeeNDan/Fanfic/Ovens.html

Here's how it starts out.

Oh, for the days of the mud ovens. When it became too grotty you could just take a sledgehammer to it and incoroporate the pieces into your garden path (that is, if you had a garden to put a path in). Then all you'd have to do was lug in another pile of goop, shape it into something remotely oven-like and then you were cooking on gas (not literally, of course).
But no. Some half-witted moron (who probably spent his entire life under the strange assumption that the plants were trying to communicate with us using telepathy) came up with the ever-so-bright idea to make the little suckers out of metal, thereby giving us something else to clean (by us I mean women - to this date I've never seen a bloke clean an oven). Well, I for one hope he rots in hell (I say he because no woman would be cruel enough to inflict this sort of torture on her fellow human beings).
LOL This is exactly how I feel today. I just got finished cleaning my oven....well, not spotless but I give up!!

Now I have to mop the kitchen floor. Ugh. I have gooy black stuff in my hair.

I think I hate cleaning that frelling oven more than I hate cleaning toilets.

[Milaya]

I have no need to clean the owen right now. I don't hate it either. I love to clean everything so far it's dirty and you seen what you have been doing. Will allways remember when I had to clean a big house and I had more dust on my self than there was in the house...But no, I don't have anything against cleaning the owen...And I have been seeing DIRTY owens, so dirty that it made me womit!

[woolhoss]

I hate Dutch ovens

[malachilenomade]

I hate Dutch ovens
Oh the comments to be made... ;)

[wa11z]

I hate Dutch ovens

That's not what I heard!:D

[woolhoss]

Oh snap!:eek3:

[zahncrelnik]

Why would I WANT to clean an oven? ;)

[woolhoss]

Oh the comments to be made... ;)



I kinda softball'd that up waiting for some comments......so. Bring your best.
The best burn gets a flurry of emoticon love.

[kymom5613]

self-cleaning ovens are THE way to go, people...I will NEVER (fist raised a la Scarlett O'Hara) clean an oven with my hands again! (burn the crap out then wipe out the ashes with a paper towel - life is good!)

[freckle]

I cooked a chicken last night and for the entire hour and a half it was in there, the smoke coming out of the oven had permeated everyroom in the house.I could still smell it this morning.Time to get out the Cillit Bang!

[SpeX]

I cooked a chicken last night and for the entire hour and a half it was in there, the smoke coming out of the oven had permeated everyroom in the house.I could still smell it this morning.

That happened to me one day last week! It was making my eyes burn and it kept setting off the smoke alarm.

[freckle]

It was lucky we dont have a smoke alarm...actually thats not lucky at all....(rushes out to buy smoke alarm)!!

[malachilenomade]

I cooked a chicken last night and for the entire hour and a half it was in there, the smoke coming out of the oven had permeated everyroom in the house.I could still smell it this morning.Time to get out the Cillit Bang!
I'm a cooking moron and have a whole chicken in my freezer... what do you set the oven at and for how long? My mom bought me the chicken to make chicken and dumpings, but that's a VERY involved process and I don't have the attention span to take care of it ;)

ETA: I should mention that ALL the recipes that I see for oven cooking chicken ALL talk about using chicken breasts, strips, etc... NEVER a full chicken. It's frustrating

[fiona-maria]

Mal, I always use the recipe in Joy of Cooking - it's good, you just have to add some herbs and spices and plenty of garlic, otherwise it is somewhat bland.

And agreed, self-cleaning ovens are the way to go....

[StephX]

I cooked a chicken last night and for the entire hour and a half it was in there, the smoke coming out of the oven had permeated everyroom in the house.I could still smell it this morning.Time to get out the Cillit Bang!


Yep, I had that happen too.... but, I just ignored it. Thought, "oh, it'll just burn off".

Yesterday I went to cook some fries for lunch. I opened to oven to check them and the bottom of the stove was on FIRE! :eek: It was burning off!!!

I'm glad I just bought a few boxes of baking soda! I grabbed one and dumped some on the fire.

[woolhoss]

Personally. I love fire and smoke.

[eta_carinae]

I hate Dutch ovens
:roflmao: cute.

[scrape_medic]

I'm a cooking moron and have a whole chicken in my freezer... what do you set the oven at and for how long? My mom bought me the chicken to make chicken and dumpings, but that's a VERY involved process and I don't have the attention span to take care of it ;)

ETA: I should mention that ALL the recipes that I see for oven cooking chicken ALL talk about using chicken breasts, strips, etc... NEVER a full chicken. It's frustrating
Any joint of meat and I go for twenty minutes a pound then add twenty. (That weight includes the bones), so for example a two and a half pound chicken would be an hour and ten minutes. With chicken if you are not sure if its cooked, stick a fork in and press down, if the juices run clear then its cooked, if they are bloody still then it needs longer. Similarly with pork. Lamb and beef can be happily underdone, ie red in the middle still and nice and tender.

Gas mark eight for the first ten minutes to brown the outside, though it might not necessarily look brown at that point, then turn the heat down for the remainder of the cooking time.

Dust the outside of the chicken with butter salt and pepper or use a chicken seasoning, or if you are feeling really brave shove the butter under the skin and spread it around. Or try laying strips of bacon over it.

Pork and the trick is to get the crackling perfect. For that you have to make a million zillion slices into the skin and rub it with salt.

If you are really unsure, get a meat thermometer to test how cooked it is, they are reliable and reduce the risk of fod poisoning.

[malachilenomade]

Any joint of meat and I go for twenty minutes a pound then add twenty. (That weight includes the bones), so for example a two and a half pound chicken would be an hour and ten minutes. With chicken if you are not sure if its cooked, stick a fork in and press down, if the juices run clear then its cooked, if they are bloody still then it needs longer. Similarly with pork. Lamb and beef can be happily underdone, ie red in the middle still and nice and tender.
Gas mark eight for the first ten minutes to brown the outside, though it might not necessarily look brown at that point, then turn the heat down for the remainder of the cooking time.
Dust the outside of the chicken with butter salt and pepper or use a chicken seasoning, or if you are feeling really brave shove the butter under the skin and spread it around. Or try laying strips of bacon over it.
Pork and the trick is to get the crackling perfect. For that you have to make a million zillion slices into the skin and rub it with salt.
If you are really unsure, get a meat thermometer to test how cooked it is, they are reliable and reduce the risk of fod poisoning.
SWEET! THANKS! :hug: