malachilenomade
06-20-2006, 04:24 PM
You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable,
or get married and wish you were dead.
==================================
At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."
==================================
A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
"Husband Wanted"
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
"You can have mine."
==================================
When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
==================================
A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.
==================================
A little boy asked his father,
"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
Father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying."
==================================
A young son asked, "Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."
==================================
Then there was a woman who said,
"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,
and by then, it was too late."
==================================
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.
==================================
Just think, if it wasn't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
==================================
First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy remarks, "You're lucky. Mine's still alive."
You can stay single and be miserable,
or get married and wish you were dead.
==================================
At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."
==================================
A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
"Husband Wanted"
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
"You can have mine."
==================================
When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
==================================
A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.
==================================
A little boy asked his father,
"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
Father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying."
==================================
A young son asked, "Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."
==================================
Then there was a woman who said,
"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,
and by then, it was too late."
==================================
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.
==================================
Just think, if it wasn't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
==================================
First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy remarks, "You're lucky. Mine's still alive."