Farscape Technology Everyday Uses

[Selena]

A Budong maybe, but never a http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/8/8_5_2.gif

[BrowderChick]

ididntdoitnobodysawmedoityoucantproveanything

[Frunium Slip]

I think my Friends at Uncharted Territories have taken an extended vacation. I have 2 more days to get this shindig off the ground and they haven't replied to my plaintive request.

"Earth to moon, Earth to moon! Come in Tranquility Base! .... over!"

We, your friends at Uncharted Territories, wish to apolgize for our abrupt, and quite lengthy hiatus. And while we would like to fantasize about a vacation, alas, it was not to be... unless vacation is a euphism for incarceration, er I mean, an extended visit to our esteemed galactic enforcement officials... seems there might have been a misunderstanding involving a significant amount of appropriated merchandise, about which we are completely innocent... basically innocent... basically... more or less... but innocent none the less, and our esteemed galactic enforcement officials agreed, after a slight gratuity toward their upcoming ball and gala extravaganza, which we are turning in as a charitable contribution... so any way... it's great to be back... and completely exonerated... wouldn't want to muck up our good name and positive public standing...

Don't think of it as too late for your New Cycle's Day shindig, think of it as being really early for your next one... or better yet, think nothing of it... why I'm thinking nothing of it right now as we speak...

but enough of this drivel, let's get back to our illustrious, yet oh so neglected thread, already in progress...

Are you into those self help books, the ones that try and raise you out of your moribund existance? Preferrably, one that stimulates your mind, energizes your soul, and hopefully helps you integrate into today's society? Did you understand anything I just said? If not, this book's for you! Call now and order Find Your Place in the Cosmos: Comprehending the Meaning of Nothing in our exclusive limited time offer! Written by the esteemed minions of Scorpius, the true self-made... er... uh... hybrid being! Learn from his experiences! Frell, if this Scarran half-breed could move up into the upper levels of Peacekeeper Command, think what a well rounded individual such as yourself could do, once you put down those doughnuts that is. Don't delay, copies are flying off the shelves!

Call our toll free intergalactic number now, operators are standing by! 1-800-B-SELF-MADE! with just a little help from your trusted friends

Warning, while all reading is helpful, one does not necessarily become succesful from just reading a few passages in a tome... no... one actually has to get off their eema and do something occaisionally, once in a while... It is especially helpful to have some characteristic, talent or skill to move upward in galactic society. But if you actually had any of that you wouldn't need this book would you?

Finally comprehend the meaning of nothing! Just what you've always needed to know for one in your supplication,er I mean position!

From the clearing house publishers that brought you What to do with a Pregnant Sebacean: Peacekeeper Addition! Number 1 on the Galactic Best Sellers List for moens!

Bonus offer! Order now and get your copy personally autographed by one of Scorpius' minions! Frell, who knows, they might even be famous one day. If they live to talk about it.

Yet another fine product from your trusted friends at Uncharted Territories, be cool, hey you look more succesful already, and as always, have a nice day!

[BrowderChick]

:D

[scrape_medic]

I think that would be a good book for me to read......but I am not sure.....might put off ordering it until tomorrow........yep........I'll just sit here with my raslak and contemplate the meaning of nothing for now........hmm

[Frunium Slip]

I think that would be a good book for me to read......but I am not sure.....might put off ordering it until tomorrow........yep........I'll just sit here with my raslak and contemplate the meaning of nothing for now........hmm
What the... wait a microt, why sit on your eema prognosticating, er, pronunciating... I mean... uh... pro*mumblemumble*ing, when you could be elevating yourself from a moribund existence. No I don't mean a new set of lifts for your shoes, I mean helping better your self, frell, who knows, maybe even becoming a functioning member of society, you never know, it could happen... and Who should know, cause like I have stated before, she's psychic. Hm... maybe we need something a bit more 'in your face' to get certain beings motivated. Yep, more one on one learning, like you did in primary school with that other playmate, which now that I think of it, takes on an entirely new meaning... but I digress, again I should think, so let's get back to our illustrious, yet much overlooked, and nearly comatose thread, already in progress...

Have you been meaning to upgrade your station in life, but have just shied away from the drenful of self-help books? Quite rightly thinking that if all these books were so helpful, why aren't more beings successful? Besides, the usual dregs that would need help would lack the motivation to even purchase such a potential gem, much less read, follow, or get out of the way... hey, that sounds good, we should print a t-shirt or something... Well, your friends at Uncharted Territories have the offer for you! Call now and reserve your spot in our exclusive Self Help and Awareness Seminar! Taught by a member of the royalty! A true leader of his people! A being who rose above his station as heir apparent to over 600 billion loyal subjects, to reach the exulted status of Dominar! He's seen the highs of omnipotence to the lows of a mud cell! And lived to talk about it! Ad nauseum... Attended by millions! *of detained subjects... Untold numbers have been helped! no really, untold, as we have absolutely no idea how many gazillions of beings may have been infected in some way... Learn when to hold 'em, and when to fold 'em! When to walk away, and when to strategically maneuver! Be able to pontificate your way straight to the top!

Call our toll free intergalactic number now, operators are standing by! 1-800-B-A-POMPOUS-1

Never have trouble at social gatherings again! From proper dining etiquette, to specialized gaming skills, learn how to interact, and quite possibly, manipulate others, as we are trying to do right now! You will never be so popular! it's true, we figure you never will, probably broke too, but you just never know...

Warning, moving up through the social strata of the cosmos may just get a few undeserving menials a bit ticked off, but in your climb to the top just step on 'em, and don't worry, you might even get to step on 'em again on the way down! Also, one might find oneself mingling with an entirely different crowd, although any mingling by a few of you would be entirely different.

Yet another fine service provided by your trusted friends at Uncharted Territories, have fun, be cool, oh watch that step, that's gonna leave a mark, and as always, have a nice day!

[Selena]

:roflmao:

Well thanks for nothing "Friends" I let that frelling Hynerian loose in the kitchen and he ate everything in sight. :pissed: We ended up having to send out for Pizza - thank the maker they had the 3 for $15 deal or we would have been really stuck.

So I'm sending out this warning to anyone who needs to hear it .... If you have a Hynerian keep the slug out of your kitchen. The frellnik has a voracious appetite and will eat anything that isn't nailed down or locked up. Even locked up isn't safe - they are extremely cunning and sneaky and seem to be able to get any lock open. If you're not careful they will eat you out of house and home.

[scrape_medic]

I heard tell from a friend of a friend of a friend of mine...some guy named Hansel...that the hynerian they had come to stay ate his whole house....literally.......:eek:

[Selena]

Frell! I'm glad that I still have mine then.

[Madre Farbot]

Warning, moving up through the social strata of the cosmos may just get a few undeserving menials a bit ticked off, but in your climb to the top just step on 'em, and don't worry, you might even get to step on 'em again on the way down!

:spew: :roflmao:

Err, when might we expect a follow-up book on... err, one-down-manship? Or how to survive life in the slow lane? :D

[BrowderChick]

:D

[Selena]

:signbravo :applaud: Yes precisely .... we need more words of wisdom from the Frun.

[Frunium Slip]

Yes precisely .... we need more words of wisdom from the Frun.

Well, been busy working on yet another acceptance speech *which reminds me, did I tell everyone about my nomination in the Sparkys? not that we'd let any success go straight to our head... HEY WHY ARE THERE GREEN M&Ms IN THIS BOWL?! DID I, OR DID I NOT SPECIFY THAT THERE WERE TO BE NO GREEN M&Ms IN THIS BOWL?! Frelling greebol menials... er... where was I? Oh yeah, not forgetting my exalted place in the cosmos, as we once again return to our illustrious thread, by request even, already in progress...

Have you always wished to be surrounded by glorious treasure? Preferably without having to do anything truly glorious, or spend mega Krendars? Not that you want anything cheap, but those gawdy baubles do tend to attract the eye don't they? And your friends at Uncharted Territories have acquired a lovely assortment of treasurable items, worthy of Royalty! Why no true noble would be caught dead without some of these precious items! And that's the point! What good is anything to a dead being? But if some benevolent faction were to gain access to a few artifacts, and say redistribute them to other more worthy beings *who happen to be living... such as yourself, it would seem tantamount to being angelic. Like taking from the rich and giving to the poor, er, well, those that are now poorer from having spent a few hard earned credits, but it's more or less the same thing. More or less... And we do it all, just for you! You deserve better, and we're here to help you get it!

Call our toll free intergalactic number now, operators are standing by! 1-800-TREASURE!

Warning, all items shipped 'as is.' Any minor imperfections or blemishes are considered as giving the piece a certain character, and uniqueness. There will be absolutely no exchanges or refunds of merchandise. All sales final.

Don't hesitate, act now, before it's too late! Get your own family heirlooms now to pass down through future generations now! All items must go, as our pirate, er I mean, friendly trade vessels are getting full, and we must clear space for the usual Spring cleaning of your credit accounts.

Yet more fine merchandise from your trusted friends at Uncharted Territories, be cool, have fun, oh what a lovely trinket, and as always, have a nice day!

[Selena]

Of course I saw the illustrious nomination ... I voted immediately for that worthy nomination.:D

gratuities will be gratefully accepted - or the equivalent in glorious treasure may be substituted

[who45]

Might have to get a few of those treasurable items to decorate these here slightly eskew zippers on my boots....no sense in not being stylish after all. :yes:

[Frunium Slip]

Might have to get a few of those treasurable items to decorate these here slightly eskew zippers on my boots....no sense in not being stylish after all. :yes:

and that would indeed be treasurable... :lech:

[BrowderChick]

I like green M&Ms :yes:

Those "treasures" wouldnt happen to be something that you "aquired" from some unfortunate being on Erp are they?

[BrowderChick]

:trans:

[NS_scaper]

:D

[BrowderChick]

Just bumping up the thread. :D

[Madre Farbot]

Happy birthday :beergood: Frunium Slip :bump: :banana: :chex: :bluenana:

I hope you don't mind there BrowderChick if I go bumping you up too. :D

[Frunium Slip]

Happy birthday :beergood: Frunium Slip :bump: :banana: :chex: :bluenana:
why thank you MF... always good to get a little nudge every now and again...

hm... haven't posted since... er... uh... wow time flies... which reminds me, saw a horse fly... even saw a house fly... but we ain't never seen no elephant fly...
but enough of this drivel... there's a moribund thread to resurrect, so without the usual fanfare, let's return once again to our glorious thread, already in progress...

There comes a time in everyone's life when one has to weigh all the alternatives, sift through all the flivalrous dren, and seek what is really important. Just get right down to the root of all existence... seek answers to why are we truly here? What matters most in life? What is it that everyone wants? And can we exploit that? More importantly, can we make a lot of krendars on it? And we came to the ultimate answer... SEX... It answers every question, well... OK... maybe answers is a bit much, but it at least distracts from the question... but of course it does... er... where was I? Oh yeah... sex... exploiting the masses... making krendars... and on this theme betcha didn't know we had themes did you? of course not... not without all that frelling going on... now pay attention... oh frell that... no I meant just pay... frelling greebols... now cut that out... we, your friends at Uncharted Territories wish to present our very first video which is marketed for the intergalactic community at large, and not just our usual blackmail list, Nixars Gone WILD!!!, only available in our exclusive limited time offer! Don't delay, copies are limited, making it a valuable collectable, and therefore targeting yet another consumer group!

Call our toll free intergalactic number now, operators are standing by! at least until the galactic authorities shut the entire operation down 1-800-EXPLOITATION

Number one best seller among the recently blind!

Warning, certain less advanced cultures may find the contents shocking, degrading, repulsive, and exploitive of the baser elements in society. If the contents are not totally offensive to you, we promise to do better on the next release, and please feel free to send suggestions for upcoming titles.

Makes the perfect gift for those mentally challenged neanderthal types, and some females too!

Yet another near infamous product from your trusted friends at Uncharted Territories, have fun, hey stop that! You'll go blind! And as always, have a nice day!

The company categorically denies any allegations that use, and or misuse of this product in anyway affects the ocular abilities of any being that may or may not, view, peruse, or in anyway come into proximity of this product. And quite frankly we are appalled that anyone would even entertain such a fanciful urbane mythology which would even suggest such a thing was possible. PS we do have a quantity of ever stylish sun glasses in case the inevitable, er we mean, improbable occurs. All sales final.

[BrowderChick]

:rollin:

:clap:

[trubador]

Now, if it was "NEBARI'S GONE WILD" I just might buy one. :aok: :ewink: :rollin:

[Selena]

I've had someone ask if they could get Dangerous Delvian Dames

[scrape_medic]

Can you get that as a DVD?

[kymom5613]

:rollin:

BTW Welcome back, Frun, we MISSED YA!!!

[Selena]

The title La Bomba is holding out for is Hot Hynerian Hussies! :eek:

[kymom5613]

or a new reality series, PeaceKeepers, a la Cops...I think that would be interesting...(Probably been said already, but I'm late to the party again!!!)

[Frunium Slip]

Can you get that as a DVD?

Well... er... probably, if you're not careful... but careful use of protection, abstinence (like that's going to happen), and a skilled diagnosian would all help...

I know, I know, resurrecting a comatose thread, yet again. Talk about back from the grave... it's been ages... why several species of insects have perished between these some what elegant posts... why subscriptions have run out... people are flocking to read the Weekly World News, or The Paper as we like to refer it... but enough of this usual Hynerian Donkey dren, there is a thread to breathe life into, if but for a microt, so let's rejoin our illustrious but much neglected thread, already in progress...

Are you constantly tinkering with the navigation system on your personal space craft? Sure, it looks easy, but that fine tuning of delicate instruments like this, well, it's not for the unskilled, is it? And how do they expect anyone to actually work with no more room than they give you? And what is up with the having to lie down to fix anything anyway? I mean, you'd think just once they could actually manufacture something, frell, anything that would make your life just a little fraction easier, is it too much to ask? Well, your friends at Uncharted Territories just might have the tool for you! No not that, one for working on the navigation system you drannit! Now pay attention, no... just pay, that would be better... Don't delay, order your Navigational System Wonder Tool now, it's never too soon to begin tampering, er I mean, tinkering with that navigation system. A delicate, fine, precision instrument, it works great in those hard to reach areas that contain live electrical circuits. Your life will immediately brighten up, as sparks just fly across your fingertips! Nothing shorts out a power grid like a Wonder Tool! Ergonomically designed, shock resistant, and available in the ever stylish black, this probe just might save your life by exposing those innocent looking wiring assemblies as the high voltage power conducting cables they really are!

Call our toll free intergalactic number now, operators are standing by! 1-800-LITE-U-UP!

Warning, there is always an inherent danger when handling metallic conducting items in the vicinity of high voltage power grids. One should always let only highly trained, properly qualified personnel work on this type of equipment. Unless of course it's an emergency. Or your trying to forget about that special crewmate, who seems to just ignore you. Or you're just curious. Or reckless. Or just a bit suicidal. But other than that... oh what the yotz, go ahead, I mean, like what could happen?

Order your Navigation System Wonder Tool today, and you'll be saying 'son of a ...' before you know it!

Always remember if a know it all crew mate complains that several control service are offline, that you didn't do it, no one saw you do it, they can't prove anything.

Yet another fine product from your trusted friends at Uncharted Territories, be cool, have fun, frell, did that hurt? It looked like it hurt, and as always, have a nice day!

[BrowderChick]

:eek:

Whats that tingling sensation? ;)

[Selena]

Do you trade in used Hynerians? I've had it with the frellnik .... almost 2 years of whining and eating me out of house and home is about all we can stand.

[kymom5613]

OK, sign me up...Do you take American Express (tm)????

[scrape_medic]

I got a freezer that needs defrosting....I will take the Hynerians off your hands....seems a shame to let all that food go to waste.

Now for the wonder tool....hmmm...does it have any other applications? I mean, a "wonder tool" just sounds too good to be true......;)

[BrowderChick]

I think it should come with at least a few attachments. :)

[who45]

Yet another near infamous product from your trusted friends at Uncharted Territories, have fun, hey stop that! You'll go blind! And as always, have a nice day!

The company categorically denies any allegations that use, and or misuse of this product in anyway affects the ocular abilities of any being that may or may not, view, peruse, or in anyway come into proximity of this product. And quite frankly we are appalled that anyone would even entertain such a fanciful urbane mythology which would even suggest such a thing was possible. PS we do have a quantity of ever stylish sun glasses in case the inevitable, er we mean, improbable occurs. All sales final. :rollin: another good one Frun. :aok:

[Frunium Slip]

OK, sign me up...Do you take American Express (tm)????
er... well... we expressly take cash, does that count?

Now for the wonder tool....hmmm...does it have any other applications? I mean, a "wonder tool" just sounds too good to be true......;)
Oh behave!

I think it should come with at least a few attachments. :)
er... I guess we could throw in an extra long chord for those hard to reach receptacles... wha? stop that! I wasn't using a meta... a meta... I mean, I meant what I said... I think... but maybe you didn't hear what I said... or I didn't annunciate my intentions clearly... or... oh just forget about it...


:rollin: another good one Frun. :aok:
You always had excellent taste Who, even aside from footwear...

[BrowderChick]

Page 2?

[Frunium Slip]

Page 2?
er... I have absolutely nothing to say in reply to that question... *bet you weren't ready for that, me with nothing to say... unless you happened to have noticed the time frame between posts... to which I again have absolutely nothing to say...

uh... don't mind me... I'm just standing here twiddling my thumbs, since I have nothing to say...

er... speaking of saying nothing... there is this moribund thread just sitting here dying a slow agonizing death, so one asks are we gonna just stand here playing with minor appendages, or are we gonna play gawd and ressurect a dead thread? It becomes a bit of a question of character, is one a minor two-bit player who'd go through life (well just this thread maybe) without making any ripples, just quietly going about one's life (such as it is) without much notice of one's passing through this plane of existance? Or would one rather cast a long shadow, stride across the universe like a gawd, manipulating things to one's own will, creating something out of nothing (even though sometimes the something pretty much amounts to nothing, but you understand my point none the less)? Well, we being we, or is that me? Whatever... We'd like to think we cast that long shadow, that in an age of huddled masses, that a few, or even one may stand apart as an individual, and while we frown on the eccentric label (we prefer colorful), besides it is stimulating to play gawd, if even over a spec, and merely for a microt (admit, you would have boiled that dust spec, sure you would have). So since we have absolutely nothing to say, we might as well rejoin our illustrious thread, already in progress...

Are you looking for that perfect gift, something special for that special someone, or just for your self, although in some cases that special someone is yourself, but I digress. Preferrably exotic, with a touch of class, and which would blend in with nearly any decor (since your artistic eye leaves much to be desired), well, your friends at Uncharted Territories have the perfect item for you! Call now and order your very own Royal Cemetary Planet Death Mask Wall Decoration! Or give it as a gift if you do indeed have a special someone who happens to be not you. Stunningly elegant design, tasteful but exotic look, formerly owned by authentic royalty, and as always available in the ever stylish black, it's the perfect gift when you can't think of anything else! And have you been accused of being cheap? Well, we can help, as this Death Mask is decidely not cheap! And we'll give you a receipt to prove it!

Call our toll free intergalactic number now, operators are standing by! 1-800-DEATH-MASK

All orders shipped on a priority basis through Wormhole Express Shipping (tm) as we know you will want it in a hurry, but it's not like you forgot an important date or anything... never, you would never do anything like that... Each Death Mask is pre-packaged in it's own lovely container, set into a formed shell, and surrounded by red velvet. Gift containers avaible in either black, black or the ever stylish black color! So the choice is yours! just like the rest of your miserable life

Bonus offer! Some items have shipped with live crawlers, which we have generously made completely free of charge! Very popular among the Hynerian sects!

Don't hesitate! Call now! Quantities are limited! although we could probably ship a few extra bugs if we check the warehouse out back...

Yet another fine product from your trusted friends at Uncharted Territories have fun, be cool, wow look at that ugly critter! And as always, have a nice day!

The establishment wishes to express the sentiment that the preceding post was dedicated to todays's birthday girl, we hope she had a lovely time, and will continue to have many more.

[BrowderChick]

:lol

:clap:

Does that mean I get one for free?

:lol

[who45]

You always had excellent taste Who, even aside from footwear...http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v441/Who45/blush2.gif






er... I have absolutely nothing to say in reply to that question... *bet you weren't ready for that, me with nothing to say... unless you happened to have noticed the time frame between posts... to which I again have absolutely nothing to say...


Nothing to say...*snort* riiiight. ;) :P

[Frunium Slip]

Does that mean I get one for free?
er... free? well... er... I guess... just this once... we can ship a live crawler to you, completely free! *

*a small, almost insignificant handling fee will apply however...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v441/Who45/blush2.gif
is that smilie playing with a boot's zipper? :eh:

Nothing to say...*snort* riiiight. ;) :P
and I am sure you mean this only in jest...

I mean look... it's been weeks between posts...

to which I have absolutely nothing to say... again...

[who45]

is that smilie playing with a boot's zipper? :eh:

Could be...just can't seem to get the darn thing straight. ;)


and I am sure you mean this only in jest...
.. Of course :D

[Frunium Slip]

Could be...just can't seem to get the darn thing straight. ;)
:lech:


Of course :D
wha? you say something? might have been distracted...

[who45]

:rollin:

[Selena]

....Are you looking for that perfect gift, something special .... just for your self .... but I digress. Preferrably exotic, with a touch of class, and which would blend in with nearly any decor (since your artistic eye leaves much to be desired), well, your friends at Uncharted Territories have the perfect item for you! ....

That sounds like the perfect male of the species you're describing ... you wouldn't happen to have a spare one of those lying around would you? ... I still have a few krendars left after unloading my Hynerian.

[Frunium Slip]

That sounds like the perfect male of the species you're describing ... you wouldn't happen to have a spare one of those lying around would you? ... I still have a few krendars left after unloading my Hynerian.
'perfect male of the species'? isn't that an ox-and-a-moron?


and welcome back!!!!!! The Return of the Favorite Australian Nurse Fan Base!!!!

this calls for some sort of celebration I think... now if I just knew what... well we could... no the Nebarri Harem Dance Trio is booked up... well we could... no the Sebacean Table Dancers are out of town... well, we'll just have to... no the Scorvian Stripper's Guild is on strike... I know, the ultimate, we could... no the Delvian Sanctity Root Dancers were banned last moen... frell the luck... seems a bit of bad timing... oh well... Welcome Back anyway, even if we can't celebrate with our usual fanfare...

Hey we could, just could mind you, work on a post... not exactly the same sort of excitement, but right now, looks like it's the best we can do, which come to think of it, is the sad part...


now if I could only think of something clever and witty...

just this once...

for a change of pace...

[Frunium Slip]

After much soul-searching, laborous effort, scrutinizing of inventory, and just plain luck, not to mention a couple of drinks, 'we' have come up with the perfect item. Either that or just the usual pile of dren, whatever... so let's get back to our glorious thread, as usual, already in progress...

Are you feeling a might low? Has life's little bumps gotten you down? Do you wish there was some way of just stimulating your life, if but for a microt? No, we're not talking about electro-shock therapy, that's for those mental menials, not a sentient being such as yourself. We'd have to get much more refined to slip one over you, and with that in mind, we your friends at Uncharted Territories gladly offer you our exclusive offer of the esteemed Stone Monkey Sonic Cow Spiritual Being Enhancer(tm). That's right, you too could be one with the cosmos! or the little creatures that live in those oh so damp, yet unusually uncomfortable caverns whichever comes first... Feel invigorated as your whole body vibrates! hopefully shaking out a bit of loose change for all those in attendance... Sure it looks like some arcane torture device, but that's part of its charm! Each SMSCPBE(tm) system comes complete with hanging high bar, delivered as usual in the ever stylish black, vibrating/dampening device just so you can get that musty cavern smell almost anywhere! and in this limited offer the glorious Rings of Fire! Just imagine, going through Rings of Fire naked! Or for those less adventurous, just glowing a bit... or even better, watch others naked! Er... I mean, going through the Rings of Fire!

Call our toll free intergalactic number now. operators are standing by!
1-800-STRUNG-OUT-er I mean- UP!

Great for those Sorority initiation rites! Can't you just picture a bunch of co-eds naked? Er... I mean, dancing through Rings of Fire! And you too can join the fun!

Warning, not all beings' spiritual sides are stimulated by this device. The usual low level drannits, genetic menials, and most alpha males are just immune to its effects. Rings of Fire are just that, burning rings, so touching, bumping, falling into, or just plain grabbing the rings may cause burns. Company not responsible for those beings not nimble enough to avoid searing flames. Also, those who have a primordial fear of torture might wish to avoid the Sonic Cow, although it would probably amuse everyone else if you didn't. not to mention the loose change

Yet another fine product from your trusted friends at Uncharted Territories, be cool, especially while avoiding branding oneself, mind the crack, and as always, have a nice day!

[who45]

Some one turn on the hose. :P

[Frunium Slip]

Some one turn on the hose. :P
Hey, who you calling a hose there Who?

or just a pair of boots? hey is that zipper slightly askew?

[who45]

er...well...I think this might be better before I get myself into trouble...http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v441/Who45/shutup.gif

[BrowderChick]

system comes complete with hanging high bar, delivered as usual in the ever stylish black, vibrating/dampening device

:D

[scrape_medic]

I like the vibrating idea, but the rings of fire...

sounds like a bad idea

[Frunium Slip]

sounds like a bad idea
or a hot time in the old city tonight...

[Selena]

:snicker: thank you for cheering me up my Friends at Uncharted Territories Even though you didn't provide the male of the species - whatever species - at this stage in my life any species will do as long as it has the correct appendages :lech: - you did manage to provide me with some mirth and merriment.

[Frunium Slip]

Even though you didn't provide the male of the species.
well we all know how dependable they are...

hm... maybe we do have something for the lesser... er I mean, fairer sex...
fairer than what exactly? thinks it's just more genetic encoded brainwashing to make up for their second class standing...

now that ought to generate some responses... :D

But enough of this kettle stirring... there's a thread to be... hey wait... we didn't let it die an inglorious death this time... must be slipping, or not slipping as it were... anyrate, let's return once again (this same month!) to our almost infamous thread, already in progress...

Are you constantly disappointed with your significant other? Tired of being left with that unfulfilled feeling? Wish just once you could actually get what you wanted? Not that you're demanding or anything which you are but just once wouldn't you like to reach the heavens, soar with the eagles, run with the bulls, and all that other yotz? Well, you probably can't, but do not fret, your friends at Uncharted Territories just might have the answer to your prayers. No wait, more like dreams, yeah, definitely more like dreams... anyways, we would like to offer you our exclusive Photosythesis Organic Transplant(tm)! Finally be able to meaningfully relate with all that vegetation dren you're always mucking about with! Worried about an early death? Don't! As our experts predict a ten-fold longevity increase in your life cycles! unless you happen to become part of someone's salad, or if the diner's a male of the species, that little garnish thingy that comes with the steak... And a long life's not all! For what good is a long life if it's full of disappointments? and I bet you never thought we'd get to the good part did you? Never need any type of device, ever! No more losing that special attachment, or a suddenly lifeless utensil, and you know you've always hated it when the batteries go dead! We'll never be a slave to those late night shyster adds, again! I know what you're thinking no, not the part about completely losing my mind, although I do miss it occasionally how can you ever retain that quality of life to which you have here to for been accustomed? Or not for that matter. Well, an interesting side effect of the procedure, well, interesting to the point of being the reason someone would want this, is enhanced PHOTOGASMS! That's right, you heard correctly, ENHANCED PHOTOGASMS! Just step into the solar light, out in space, planet side. Where ever! You'll never be the same, ever again!

Call our toll free intergalactic number now, operators are standing by! 1-800-U-GO-YOWZER!

Warning, some beings who suffer from extreme allergic reactions from vegetation may suffer negative side effects. Company not responsible for surgical gaffes, adverse side effects, loss of productivity on those bright summer days, or subsequent unemployment.

Also, all Photosythesis Organic Transplants(tm) require a medical procedure at our infamous Ice Planet Medical Facility, which as usual requires a 648 page signed consent form, in triplicate. In the extremely rare case of a mishap, the establishment retains rights to all donor worthy organs, to be kept under cryogenic stasis until deemed unworthy of transfer.

Also, if you happen to be a crewmate, roommate, or just a *special friend* to someone who's had the surgery, you might want to have a mop and bucket handy.

Bonus offer! Never been one to eat those vegetables that all the so-called experts harp? Well, just a little water, some fertilizer, a little solar radiation, and the occasional animal kill, and you'll be filled to your satisfaction!

Yet another fine service provided by your trusted friends at Uncharted Territories, where we'll keep practicing medicine 'til we get it right! And as always have a nice... what the... did someone spill their drink? What the... it's all sticky... Frell! Clean up on aisle six!

[BrowderChick]

:drool:


:lol

[who45]

well we all know how dependable they are...

hm... maybe we do have something for the lesser... er I mean, fairer sex...
fairer than what exactly? thinks it's just more genetic encoded brainwashing to make up for their second class standing...

now that ought to generate some responses... :D

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v441/Who45/slap.gif...well I didn't want to disapoint ya. :D

[Frunium Slip]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v441/Who45/slap.gif...well I didn't want to disapoint ya. :D
Ow!!! wha?

thinks anyone who owns a set of boots in the ever stylish black could never be disapointing...

[who45]

:D

[BrowderChick]

Bumping this thread up. :D

Well it WAS on page 2!!!

[Selena]

Where is out purveyor of mayhem anyway? It's been a while since he has graced these pages with his wisdom and wit!

[scrape_medic]

I got him under the floorbaords

[BrowderChick]

Well let him out so he can post. :D

[Frunium Slip]

I got him under the floorbaords
I guess then that S+M floored me... or is that I was floored by S+M?

Where is out purveyor of mayhem anyway? It's been a while since he has graced these pages with his wisdom and wit!
Well... 'til this guy shows up I guess I can prattle on a bit...

Well it WAS on page 2!!!
er... uh... hey look over there! works every time...

So, while everyone's distracted, let's get back to our illustrious thread, already in progress...


Have strange and mysterious events been nagging you lately? Have objects simply disappeared despite lengthy searches only to suddenly re-appear as if by magic? Have you been experiencing visions, beyond your usual drug induced state? Are inanimate objects moving on their own? Do sudden tremors knock over all your bric-brac? More importantly, did you acquire any of those lovely Royal Cemetary Planet Artifacts in our previous offer? Well, your friends at Uncharted Territories might have the service for you! Call now and reserve your very own Delvian Curse Removal Chant Session! It's relatively quick, it's easy if you can stand that irritating monotone, and it could save your sanity!* Avoid the embarrasment of falling ornamentation just as you're trying to make that first impression on that significant other, even if it's only for an evening, not to mention that whole clean up thing that will undoubtably ensue... Just imagine at least one item you won't have to pick up, worth the cost on that aspect alone!

Call our toll free intergalactic number now, operators are standing by! 1-800-U-R-CURSED!

All Delvian Curse Removal Chant Sessions are performed by authentic Delvian Seek Members, rates dependent on class levels, although we recommend always purchasing the highest level affordable, why take the chance of inadequate chanting? I mean it's bad enough listening to once, but the sheer thought of having to do it again, or possibly even throwing out valuable items, well I just cringe...

So don't throw away all those fine items that you've ruthessly appropriated! Have 'em de-cursed through our exclusive offer!

A guaranteed service** brought to you by your trusted friends at Uncharted Territories, be cool, have fun, hey wait, get away from me, your cursed! And as always, have a nice day!

*What there is left of it anyrate...
**Guaranteed to alleviate you of many of your precious credits...

Company in no way feels any remorse for any accidents, injuries, fatalities, trauma, nightmares, never ending counseling sessions, or any other affects of having to endure that irritating monotone used in the curse removal process. Hey you could have just thrown that old stuff out. And we didn't twist your arm making you purchase that dren to begin with. Much.

[BrowderChick]

:D

[scrape_medic]

I would like to order one Delvian Curse Removal Chant Sessions for immediate dispatch. I am having a lot of trouble finding my tools!

[BrowderChick]

I need to find something to wear to a party. Got anything good?

[BrowderChick]

Ahem! :D

[Frunium Slip]

I need to find something to wear to a party. Got anything good?

well... er... uh... (do I look like a fashion consultant? Wait... If Peter the pickled fashion consultant picked a fabric of vibrant colors, how many Krendars does Peter the pickled fashion consultant make? :eh: What I mean to say is, are there credits to be had? Preferrably with a minimal effort on one's part. Preferrably mine.)

And to get to the gist of the matter, one such as I, have always been of the impression (BTW impressionism is just a fancy way of saying can't paint worth a lick but I digress) that one's suit of the day of birth, would usually gather attention, which is the whole point of attending a fancy gathering, well that and getting sauced up... and all the rest is about fleecing one out of their hard earned credits, which I am apalled to say happens quite frequently, which brings me to the point of the story... wait... there's a story? Shouldn't it have started like with 'On a dark and stormy night...' or 'A long time ago, like in the time of your parents or something...' Wait, where was I again? No... after the whole getting incarcerated for prancing about nude...

Oh yeah...

'Please allow me to introduce myself I’m a man of wealth and taste; I’ve been around for a long, long year stole many a man’s soul and faith...' well not really souls, or faith.... and stole is a bit harsh... we like the term 'aquired' better... (and yes we are using the royal we again, it just sounds more... royal that way) Anyhow, let's get back just this once more to our infamous thread, already in progress...

Did you mess up the gift giving on another important occasion? Sure you thought that new vegetable whacker was gonna be a fine gift, or the cosmic dust sucker, or the new ever stylish black heating box mitts, but did your significant other appreciate the sheer magnitude of the microts it took to gather such a precious gift on your way back to your lovely abode, not to mention the forethought and planning it took to even remember what the frell had been nagging you at the back of your consciousness all day, something important, it was right there on the tip of your tongue, which luckily enough, through sheer will power (not to mention that survival instinct) you managed to think of before you entered your lovely abode, just in time to make a quick turn around and head to the nearest commerce location. Of course not, and there you were, taking all the heat, and not even still retaining those ever stylish black heating box mitts. Kind of like working the high wire without a net, whatever the frell that means... Well, your friends at Uncharted Territories just might have the item for you! Call now and order your very own copy of the definitive book on those perplexing females of the species, 'Females are from Delvia, and Males are just Males.' Finally figure out all those meaningful, semi-meaningful, and near death looks, quirks, and subtle movements. Did she just flash those eyes? Was that a grimace, or just grit in her teeth? And are the clenched teeth a dangerous sign? Is she just cleaning out the cupboards, or is that detonating crockery actually aimed at you? Sure you had no way of knowing what was up 'til she actually started firing the pulse pistol, I mean, she could have just been checking the bore sighting, how were you supposed to know, it's not like you could read her mind or anything, for if you could you wouldn't need our help, which you do need, and quite badly I might add...

Call our toll free intergalactic number now, operators are standing by! 1-800-O-DID-U-FRELL-UP

Don't hesitate, the life you save could be your own!

And to help her out, since we have been reminded repeatedly that we seem to walk only one side of the street (which one wonders how one could be on both sides of the street at the same time without some type of twinning technique, which we might add is extremely popular until one finds out that one's twin is just as reluctant to actually go to work as oneself, where the whole plan just crumbles apart...) We now have the companion book, 'Women are from Delvia and Males are just Dogs' where the authors' delve into the deep mysteries of why men get upset at blocking the vid during that important playoff game, not to mention the lack of attention to the emotional needs of communication just as their favorite team is about to score. And we will only briefly mention the indelicacies of drinking out of the bottle, scratching oneself, intenstinal distress, and the sentimental value of all those rags that need to be thrown out.

So call now, before the opposite sex realizes we're onto their game, which by the way just happens to be on, so could you move your little eema the frell out of the way, and save your commentary about your day until just a bit later, say, oh, 2020?

No need to thank us, your credits will do just fine, yet more fine products from your trusted friends at Uncharted Territories, have fun, be cool, you might just live to talk about it, and as always have a nice day!

[scrape_medic]

Men can read?!!

[Frunium Slip]

Men can read?!!
and I make 'our' case by just replying to this... :eh:

[Afarscapefan]

Weeell that is one opinion. Speaking against 'our' case I would like to point out that the silent majority of men who don't read are waiting for them to make the movie. So the answer could be no.

Written on behalf of all non-reading males, dogs and/or oestrogenically challenged beings.:rolleyes:

[Selena]

I lost my job did anyone find it???? :pi:

[BrowderChick]

I didnt hear you complaining about blocking the tv while wearing blue and gold. :lol