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11-26-2004, 04:45 AM
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#1 |
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Paranoid Paranid
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: X-Universe
Posts: 487
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Vaseline - Joke (Content Warning)
Don't read this if your easily offendend, contains foul language and references of sexual nature.
This is a c&p from another forum I'm on, i thought you guy's might like to see it. Joe wanted to buy a motorbike. He doesn't have much luck until, one day he comes across a Harley with a 'For Sale' sign on it. The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It is shiny and in absolute mint condition. He immediately buys it, and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years. "Well, it's quite simple, really," says the seller, "whenever the bike is outside and it's going to rain,rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain." And he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline. That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents. Naturally, they take the bike there. But just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, "I have to tell you something about my family before we go in." "When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the first person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes." "No problem," he says. And in they go. Joe is shocked. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes. They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word. As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation. So he leans over and kisses Sandra. No one says a word. So he reaches over and fondles her br**sts. Still, nobody says a word. So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table, and sc**ws her right there, in front of her parents. His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word. He looks at her mom. "She's got a great body," he thinks. So he grabs the mom, bends her over the dinner table, and has his way with her every which way right there on the dinner table. Now his girlfriend is furious and her dad is boiling, but still, total silence. All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain. Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket. Suddenly the father backs away from the table and shouts, "All right, that's enough, I'll do the f*cking dishes!" |
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11-26-2004, 02:35 PM
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#2 |
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Registered Loser
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 1,506
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ha!
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 Non Cogito Nimis Ergo Non Sim "Why're you bitching at me like we're married, Scorpysue?" - John, Into the Lions Den ~Member of Commandant Grayza's Lonely Hearts Club ~Do I Know Joe? ~FMD #496 Farscape: Hope and Leather Pants (It's not the size of your sig that matters...) Well, at least he still gets to wear a black t-shirt... MySpace and My LiveJournal Frell Me Dead Looks Better on Firefox. Worldwide Scaper Mapping: 
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11-26-2004, 03:17 PM
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#3 |
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Posts: n/a
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I'm wondering... is the point that the father realizes it's raining and figures "Hey, I'll just put the dishes outside, and the rain will clean them for me..." or am I missing something...?
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11-26-2004, 03:33 PM
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#4 | |
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Registered User
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Fort Wayne, IN
Posts: 1,616
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Quote:
No, I don't think that's it... |
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11-26-2004, 03:51 PM
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#5 | |
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Oh sick one!
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Resident Wiscaper
Posts: 2,609
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Quote:
The vaseline is the key!
__________________
"Oh there is no expanse of the mind the will cannot traverse or physically the distance laid across the universe his blessings many in the stars say one lamented curse that sixteenth Rygel glory me, must travel in reverse!" }:- ( Rygel Smilie    Ashlee strikes back at the Orange Bowl! "You look like dren, smell like dren...  maybe you ARE dren!" -Aughra meets John"House on fire, he's mad as a cat snake!" -Raelee Hill on David Kemper Chairman of the Maverick Yak Political Party   Retrosexual Pride!
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11-26-2004, 03:55 PM
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#6 | |
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Registered User
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Fort Wayne, IN
Posts: 1,616
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Quote:
The father is going to wash the dishes with the vaseline... |
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11-26-2004, 04:00 PM
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#7 |
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Registered Loser
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 1,506
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 silly!
__________________
Non Cogito Nimis Ergo Non Sim "Why're you bitching at me like we're married, Scorpysue?" - John, Into the Lions Den ~Member of Commandant Grayza's Lonely Hearts Club ~Do I Know Joe? ~FMD #496 Farscape: Hope and Leather Pants (It's not the size of your sig that matters...) Well, at least he still gets to wear a black t-shirt... MySpace and My LiveJournal Frell Me Dead Looks Better on Firefox. Worldwide Scaper Mapping:
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11-26-2004, 04:12 PM
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#8 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 11,391
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i think the vaseline gives the dishes a protective coating so that food slides right off of it and there really is no need for washing.
hey, he might've created a new product! Food-Be-Gone, or Slide-Off: the food stain remover! |
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11-26-2004, 08:10 PM
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#9 | |
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hmm, that't an interesting idea... it made me wonder: now that they've put teflon in just about all the pots and pans in the world (and that's a lot of pans!), when will they start using this non-stick eighth wonder of the world on dishes? It seems so obvious... less work for the busy housewife (or the kids, or the husband or the electric dishwasher or whoever...) |
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11-27-2004, 12:09 AM
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#10 |
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good bye
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 1,528
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11-27-2004, 02:27 PM
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#11 | |
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Thinks Sikouzu is HOT....
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Lost in KY
Posts: 2,866
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Quote:
Yes, my friend. You are missing something.
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You're never really done for, if you've got a good story and someone to tell it to. - Max in "The Legend of 1900". Brain flatulence sufferer. |
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11-27-2004, 02:53 PM
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#12 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Fort Wayne, IN
Posts: 1,616
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I think Dane should explain the joke for those of us who didn't get it.
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11-27-2004, 02:56 PM
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#13 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 11,391
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i think some of us are too busy trying to patent the Slide-Off dishes.
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11-27-2004, 03:40 PM
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#14 |
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Oh sick one!
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Resident Wiscaper
Posts: 2,609
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Remember that vaseline has similar properties to astroglide.
__________________
"Oh there is no expanse of the mind the will cannot traverse or physically the distance laid across the universe his blessings many in the stars say one lamented curse that sixteenth Rygel glory me, must travel in reverse!" }:- ( Rygel Smilie Ashlee strikes back at the Orange Bowl! "You look like dren, smell like dren... maybe you ARE dren!" -Aughra meets John"House on fire, he's mad as a cat snake!" -Raelee Hill on David Kemper Chairman of the Maverick Yak Political Party Retrosexual Pride!
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11-27-2004, 04:00 PM
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#15 |
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Crais' Cohort
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 2,160
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Some of us live in the gutter and got it right off the bat, what does that say about me? Well, considering my employer, people would be shocked if I didn't "get it."
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